


HUSH

by abnegative



Category: Chanbaek - Fandom, EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:09:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 42,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13846869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnegative/pseuds/abnegative
Summary: [complete] The door hit Chanyeol front on and his coffee went everywhere, all over his clothes, all over the floor. The cause of the disaster, a small man with brown hair, gathered his personal items which had spilled everywhere. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, how embarrassing."Chanyeol is a medical mystery. His heart has lived quietly inside his chest , never beating once in all his life, hushed since the day was born. Until by chance he meets an artist named Baekhyun who changes everything.17/10/2107 - 25/11/2017SMUT ALERTThis is my own original work I reserve all rights to the content. Do not copy.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

**_Warnings_ **

**_Hard smut / kink_** **_Alcohol_**

**_Ship: Chanyeol x Baekhyun_ **

Chanyeol laid on the table. Machines beeped around him. He was fine. He was used to it. Once a month since he was born he had been strapped to every machine you could imagine. He closed his eyes and drifted away to the happy place inside his mind. The happy place where he wasn't a freak, a medical mystery, an object to be poked and prodded and inspected.

Dr Yoo had asked if some medical students could sit in on today's examination and he said yes. He was now regretting that consent. He tried to block out their amazed chatter, their quiet mumbles of disbelief, their queue to inspect the many machines running tests on his body. Eventually they filed out of the room and Chanyeol sat up as Dr Yoo removed tubes and attachements from his body. He looked at Dr Yoo who shook his head. "No change in your condition Chanyeol."

Chanyeol's heart still didn't beat.

It never had.

When he was born the nurses thought he was dead until he opened his eyes and screamed at them. He was a healthy colour, his lungs worked fine, but his heart was silent. No beat could be detected. So Chanyeol grew, a medical marvel, an unexplained phenomenon. Once a month he woud come in to Dr Yoo, be examined all over, declared fit and healthy and 'normal.' He grew well. He grew better than well. He grew tall and handsome and kind with strong hands and big feet. His heart was silent but it was kind and good. He could run and jump and play sport and was popular and smart and musically gifted. He was popular with girls and went out with a few.

But still his heart didn't beat.

He enjoyed his college years, studying and partying and socialising as any normal growing man would. He experimented with alcohol, dated girls and enjoyed a good time, and worked hard and graduated. He took a job at a small record company and soon became one of the most successful music producers in the country. He was talented and clever and personable, He had an ear for music and wrote beautiful lyrics which made those who sung them weep with emotion. He produced hits, won awards and saved his money. He bought a big house on a cliff overlooking the ocean and he loved nothing more than to swim in the morning and then sit on the deck and watch the waves as he drank coffee and played his guitar.

And still his heart didn't beat.

He met a girl. Her name was Tiffany. She was beautiful and sweet with long dark hair. They flirted and kissed and went on dates. Chanyeol took her to restaurants and cafes and museums and galleries. They held hands and waked through the park in winter and spent special occasions with their families and he made love to her in his big house that overlooked the ocean.

And still his heart didn't beat.   


Chanyeol left the hospital. It was cold in the airconditioned glare of the heart clinic but outside it was warm. A gentle breeze blew and he decided to walk for a while. He was pleased with the news from Dr Yoo. No news, maintainence of the status quo, no change in his condition. It was good. It was normal.

Chanyeol's own special kind of normal.

He walked faster and his breath sped up but he didn't experience the increased rhythm in his chest that anyone else would. It felt empty. Sometimes he wondered if his heart was really there. He knew it existed, he had seen it multiple times on xrays and scans, but it seemed to be a ghost living inside him. He chuckled to himself as he imagined his heart as a freeloader, living rent free in his body like a squatter, offering him nothing but a litany of medical tests and appointments.

Even though it was warm he decided to grab a coffee. Since he had walked from the hospital he was in an unfamiliar neighbourhood. He crossed a beautiful park, trees heavy with the springtime flush of the beautiful sakura that Chanyeol treasured. He stopped and took a photo and uploaded it to his Instagram. It reminded him of something one of his favourite Instagram accounts had posted yesterday. He loved following the beautiful aesthetic Instagram accounts of designers, photographers and artists. He found inspiration in the beauty others saw in the world.

He spotted a tiny coffee shop, no more than a hole in the wall, and took a chance. He found the smallest places sometimes made the best coffee and he loved to find little hidden gems around the city. He walked in and wasn't disappointed. It was cosy, with brick walls, and a rich aroma in the air. Chanyeol ordered from the short friendly man behind the counter and took a seat while he waited. He decided to take his coffee and sit in the park. The day was to perfect to waste inside. Chanyeol wanted to drink his coffee under the pink shower of Sakura and waste the afternoon away. He scrolled through Instagram while he waited, smiling at the amount of likes his Sakura picture was gathering, enjoying the choices he had made for his afternoon.

His name was called and he took the cup, excited to taste the coffee, hoping he had made another discovery. With the beautiful park next door this would be a place to come back to as long as the coffee was good.

He was just about to walk through the door when it flew open. The door hit Chanyeol front on and his coffee went everywhere, all over his clothes, all over the floor. The cause of the disaster, a small man with brown hair, gathered his personal items which had spilled everywhere. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, how embarrassing." Clearly flustered, he scooped up what looked to be a pile of small canvases and a leather bag containing paintbrushes. "Ah shit. Come on. I was having such a good day too." Chanyeol grumbled, almost to himself, as he squatted down and helped the man pick up his brushes. The man's voice wavered as he collected his things from Chanyeol's hands. "I said I was sorry, ok?" He looked up into Chayeol's eyes. Chanyeol met his gaze.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol's eyes widened in terror. "Call an ambulance." He said, breathlessly, clutching at his chest. The short man panicked. "Are you having a heart attack?" Chanyeol clutched his shirt and shook his head. "Just call the ambulance." He shouted breathlessly.

The barista called the ambulance and they heard it almost immediately. They weren't that far from the hospital. As the sirens neared the short man held Chanyeol by the arm. "Relax. I'm sure you'll be fine." Chanyeol stared into his eyes, panicking with the unfamiliar feeling of movement in his chest. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. He willed the ambulance to come quicker and when it arrived they hooked him up to machines in the back. As soon as they closed the doors and drove off towards the hospital it was over. His breathing slowed, sweat stopped dripping down his forehead, things returned to normal.

Chanyeol's heart didn't beat.

The short man, small and beautiful with soft brown hair and soft brown eyes, smiled at his friend Minseok. "Wow. That was intense!" Minseok filled a large takeaway cup with his friends favourite hazelnut latte and handed it to him. "It's on the house Baekhyun. I think you need it!"

Baekhyun smiled and took it to the park. He stretched out under the Sakura, lined up his brushes, and prepared to paint. He mixed the right pinks and creams and greens and sipped his latte. He couldn't believe his clumsiness had almost killed that poor guy. Honestly though, how bad are your nerves if someone knocks into you and you have a heart attack?

He continued working on his latest project. When he'd had enough he snapped a picture and uploaded it to his Instagram. He captioned it 'work in progress stage 2'. He had posted his first days work on the piece yesterday. He scrolled though his feed, stopping on a picture posted by the account of a music producer, it was so beautiful and felt so familiar it could have been taken right where he was sitting.

He double tapped and smiled as the little heart popped up briefly on top of the picture. He really hoped that poor guy from the cafe was okay.

 

Dr Yoo stared at Chanyeol in disbelief. "Are you sure?" The machines beeped their familiar and comforting sounds. "Yes." Chanyeol was exasperated. "I'm telling you. My heart was beating. It felt so weird. Scary. I was scared..." Dr Yoo checked the machines again and for the second time that day unplugged Chanyeol from the tangle of technology that monitored his health. "Well Chanyeol. As of right now there is no change in your condition."

Chanyeol's heart didn't beat.

He slid off the bed and grabbed his phone. He sent a text to Tiffany to come pick him up. Walking had lost its appeal and it was getting late. Dr Yoo came back into the room. "Anything happens you call me day or night. Ok?" Chanyeol nodded. "I'm serious. Your heart hasn't beaten in 25 years. This is an unpredictable situation Chanyeol." Chanyeol nodded. "Thanks Dr Yoo." He smiled at him as he left.

He was so puzzled. His heart had really started beating. It was like being blind and then suddenly able to see. There was no way he had made a mistake. Maybe it was the shock of being knocked into. Why couldn't that man have watched where he was going? His day had been going so well and it all went to shit when that guy knocked into him.

_That guy._

Chanyeol could remember every feature on his face. He was small, tiny even, especially compared to Chanyeol who sometimes felt like a giant. His soft hair and his friendly warm eyes that had so expressively conveyed his apology at knocking into Chanyeol's coffee.

Chanyeol had forgotten about the coffee. He looked down at his shirt, a nice grey marle v neck, that now smelt like hazelnut latte. It would be stained. He would have to throw it away. He sighed.

The sun was just beginning its slow descent toward the horizon as Tiffany pulled up outside the hospital. "You're here late." She smiled as he jumped in the passenger seat. "Dr Yoo had some medical students come in and look at me." He chuckled to cover his lie. He didn't want to tell her. She would worry. She would ask questions he didn't have the answers to. She drove them along the highway towards Chanyeol's home in silence while Chanyeol scrolled through Instagram.

'work in progress stage 2'. Chanyeol double tapped and a heart appeared briefly over the aesthetically pleasing image. A small canvas featuring a half painted Sakura branch was laid out on grass with a few artfully arranged brushes and a single Sakura twig completing the flat lay. Chanyeol really loved this person's artwork and their eye for beauty.

He remembered the small man from the coffee shop scraping up his brushes and paints. He seemed like a real disaster. One of those people who was like a walking cyclone, knocking things over and making noise, causing chaos wherever they went. But why? Why had his heart chose that exact moment to come to life? Chanyeol shivered involuntarily. Tiffany eyed him as she drove. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked. He sighed. "Yes. Just annoyed some guy knocked coffee all over me. It's been a long day." She turned back to the road as the car sped up the winding cliff to the house.

"Do you want me to cook?" Tiffany asked. "No thanks." She was sweet. He was lucky to have her and he knew it. "I just want to get the smell of coffee off." He went upstairs and ran the shower. He stripped off and stepped in and let the hot water wash over him. He thought about that guy again. His face was so soft. He was almost pretty enough to be a girl. Water streamed down over his face as he scrunched his eyes closed and remembered the crestfallen look on his face when Chanyeol grumbled at him. Chanyeol felt bad. The poor guy had looked devastated.

_Flutter_

It wasn't quite a beat but he almost felt it. As he stood in the shower, with his head under the water, it felt like a butterfly flew through his chest. He thought about calling Dr Yoo but this time he wasn't quite sure. It had been a long day. He turned off the warm water and stepped out of the shower. As he dried and dressed he wondered what to do. _If this was a movie I would retrace my steps_ he thought to himself. He decided that was the best thing to do. Tomorrow he would go back to the cafe.

Baekhyun was flat on his back on the sofa. His apartment was tiny but he liked it the way it was. He was a small person. A small apartment suited him. It wasn't much but everything he had he had earned with his art. It was filled with an eclectic collection of his own art and the art of others, mismatched second hand furniture pieces that had caught his eye, and anything else that attracted his eye. Piles of old books were stacked around the house and a huge metal sculpture of an ibis he made in college took pride of place in the living room.

His phone buzzed. It was Jessica. He rolled his eyes. Their relationships was on the rocks. She just didn't realise it yet. Three years ago, when they first started dating, she was proud of her artist boyfriend. She dragged him everywhere, dressed him in her latest designs, incorporated his art into her fashion shows. But since her design house had made it big things had changed. Now all she went on about were material things. This party, that fashion show, who sat with who at Seoul Fashion Week.

He relaxed knowing she wouldn't come to his apartment. She hated the tiny place. She had an inner city apartment, big and modern, decorated with a classic minimalist style. Baekhyun hated it. He felt like he was in a hospital whenever he was there. The final straw had been when Jessica's Dad offered Baekhyun a job at his advertising firm. Jessica wanted him to sell out. He knew he was no longer good enough for her. She had changed and he hadn't.

He got up and made cup ramen. Jessica would be out at a five star restaurant, more interested in being seen than eating, with her crew of girlfriends in tow. He would rather be here with his cup ramen. He could picture them, dressed in variations of the same outfit, whispering and bitching to each other. They reminded him of a flock of pigeons, heads bobbing and mouths skwaking at each other.

His mind wandered to the crazy events of the day. He'd had trouble concentrating on his painting after that poor guy had a heart attack. He couldn't stop wondering if he was okay. The hospital was close and he had to assume he made it there okay. He felt awful. He wished there was some way he could find out if he was alright.

 

The cafe was as neat and welcoming as he remembered. The barista from yesterday recognised him immediately. "Hey. Heart attack guy right?" Chanyeol nodded. "Wasn't a heart attack. I'm fine." He smiled as he ordered his favourite coffee. Hazelnut latte. It was ready in no time, the café wasn't busy, and Chanyeol took out his phone and scrolled through his Instagram while he waited. It was handed to him and the short man behind the counter smiled. "On the house. I would have given you another one yesterday if you hadn't left in an ambulance."

Chanyeol took the coffee and sat in the corner of the café facing the door. So far everything seemed normal. It wasn't the place. It must have been him. He could still remember his face. His sad brown puppy eyes ate away at Chanyeol's conscience. As Chanyeol sipped the coffee he closed his eyes in delight. It was smooth and rich with just the right balance between the bitter coffee and the deliciously sweet syrup.

Chanyeol admired the art on the walls. There were landscapes and sakuras covering one brick wall. He got up and went over to look at them. They were all signed at the bottom with BBH in a rushed looking script which contrasted with the careful delicacy of the details in the paintings.

He turned to sit back down and found the barista standing next to him. "Beautiful aren't they?" Chanyeol smiled. "They sure are. Is the artist a friend of yours?" The barista nodded. "Yeah. He's so talented. He also made you have a heart attack yesterday." Chanyeol turned to him in shock. "That small guy? The tiny walking disaster? He painted these?" The barista nodded and grinned. "Yep. He's a walking contradiction. But his art really speaks for itself." Chanyeol thought about the man on the floor, scooping up his art supplies, looking up at him with the saddest eyes he had ever seen. Guilt panged in his mind and his chest fluttered again.

_Flutter_

It was faint but it was there. Chanyeol decided he had to take a chance. "Does he come here often? I really just came back today to thank the both of you for helping me yesterday. And I wanted to make sure he didn't feel bad. It was my fault." Chanyeol held his hand out to the barista. "My name's Chanyeol." The barista smiled and shook it. "Minseok. This is my café. And yes, he comes here every day, his name is Baekhyun and he likes to paint the Sakura in the park."

_Baekhyun_

Chanyeol rolled the name over and over in his mind. It seemed familiar but he couldn't quite work out why. Suddenly he made the almost intangible connection. He pulled his phone out and opened his Instagram. He scrolled through his feed and found the post from yesterday. The beautiful flat lay of the sakura canvas on the grass. The username **@bbhart** connected all the dots for him. BBH on the canvases. The familiarity of the park. He sank down into a chair and looked thorugh the feed. He had been double tapping the heart on Baekhyun's pictures for a year.

_Flutter_

His chest made that weird feeling again. It was like the wings of a butterfly trapped in his chest. Like the faint and aimless flailing limbs of someone dreaming but trying to wake up. Like gentle waves just lapping at the bottom of a cliff.

He had to see him.

Minseok had returned to his place behind the counter. It was almost lunchtime and a few customers began to wander in but Chanyeol had never seen a café this empty. He wondered how Minseok managed to make a living. The place was wonderful, the coffee delicious, and the aesthetic of the place was right on trend. He knew how to thank Minseok. He snapped a picture of his coffee cup with the wall of art in the background. He posted it to his Instagram with the caption 'best coffee in the city' and added the location to the post. He smiled to himself. He had 390 thousand followers, surely he could get a few more customers through the door.

Baekhyun was in the park. The day was stunning and he felt good. The paint just seemed to be flowing through him. He finished his Sakura and sat it out to dry. He didn't know if he wanted to start another one but the Sakura season was almost over and he wouldn't have many more opportunities. They could all be on the ground the next time he came.

He laid on his back in the shade and looked up at at the slivers of bright blue sky visible between the petals of the pink Sakura. He reached for his phone, snapped the picture and posted it. He didn't add a caption, just the hashtag #naturalbeauty. He scrolled through his feed, double tapping here and there, suddenly stopping in shock.

Why were his paintings posted on the account of the famous and successful music producer Park Chanyeol? He looked at the caption. He must have been to Minseok's cafe. The feed said 29 minutes ago. Baekhyun wondered if he was still there. He went to get up and then laid back down. What was he going to say to him? _'Hi Mr famous music producer I love your Instagram account?'_

He wondered what he looked like. He decided to pack his stuff and go to the cafe and grab a latte anyway. He packed his assortment of brushes and paints into his favourite worn leather bag, tucked his finished canvas under his arm, and headed for the cafe. If he did manage to run into the music producer at least it would be a story to make Jessica jealous. She always complained he was so boring.

Chanyeol had ordered another hazelnut latte. He had no choice but to wait. Asking Minseok for Baekhyun's phone number would be too weird. He looked at his watch and calculated he could wait about another 25 minutes. He had an important meeting this afternoon with a new idol group and their company. They wanted Chanyeol to produce their album, it was going to be easy work, and a big fat paycheck. He had a feeling they were going to be big and the royalties would roll in for years.

He was scrolling through his Instagram when he noticed Baekhyun had posted a beautiful picture from what looked like the park next door. Maybe he could go find him. He was just about to get up when the door opened and he walked in. Chanyeol held his breath. Baekhyun walked over to Minseok behind the counter, spoke to him, then turned to Chanyeol with a surprised look on his face. He began to walk towards Chanyeol.

He was more beautiful than Chanyeol remembered. He was sweet and delicate looking. Soft dark brown hair that was a little too long framed his small face. His eyes were mesmerising and Chanyeol could see they were careful rimmed with eyeliner. An oversized cream V neck jumper, black jeans and heavily scuffed black combat boots completed his look. He looked the perfect balance between shabby and chic. Chanyeol stared down at his white button up shirt and blue jeans and felt way too preppy and slightly uncool.

And as he walked towards Chanyeol it happened.

_Flutter flutter. Flutter flutter._

The butterflies were back.

Baekhyun leaned over the table towards Chanyeol and held his hand out. "Hi. I'm Baekhyun. I'm so glad you're okay. I'm really sorry about yesterday." Chanyeol smiled at him and replied. "I'm Chanyeol. And it was my fault. I'm sorry to have worried you." Chanyeol stood up and took the hand offered and shook and Baekhyun smiled at him.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol's heart began to beat.

Chanyeol felt dizzy and everything went black.

 

Chanyeol's eyes opened and his body came back to life. He took a few seconds to remember what had happened. He was in the cafe. The man, the short and delicate, and beautiful man. He got more breathtaking the closer he got to Chanyeol. When he shook Chaneyol's hand everything went black. He sat up and realised he had fainted. For the second time in two days Minseok and Baekhyun stared at him with a combination of shock, concern and confusion.

He was laid out on the floor of the cafe with a folded sweater under his head. He looked up, saw Baekhyun in his singlet, and realised it was his sweater. The man's puppy eyes had returned. They were heavy with worry. "Are you okay?" Chanyeol sat up and then stood. "I'm okay. Really." He moved back onto the chair at the table and Minsoek and Baekhyun relaxed a little. "I'll make coffee." Minseok said and went behind the counter. Baekhyun put his sweater back on.

Baekhyun sat in the chair opposite Chanyeol and stared at him like some sort of curiosity. Chanyeol couldn't look away. It was only then in that quiet moment that he realised what was happening.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump_.

Chanyeol's heart was beating.

He tried to remain calm. He made sure his breathing was slow and even. He remembered what Dr Yoo had said about this being an unpredictable situation. But he didn't think it was a bad thing. It felt good. It felt amazing.

"So." Chanyeol began awkwardly. He didn't know what to say. Baekhyun broke the ice. "Your music is amazing. You're very talented." Chaneyol smiled and relaxed a bit. "Thanks. Producing is just my day job though. I love to sing and play guitar." _Wait, what?_ What was he saying to this man? He did love to sing and play guitar but he only sang when he was alone. He never told anyone before. "Ah. So you're a sell out." The sarcastic comment out of the beautiful man's mouth stung like a barb. Chanyeol's face fell and Baekhyun instantly regretted it. "Sorry." The puppy eyes were back. "I love my art and I make a decent enough living. My girlfriend wants me to quit and take a job at her Dad's company." Baekhyun shook his head to himself. He hadn't even told Minseok. Why was he telling this guy who he had known for five minutes?

"Your art is beautiful. I can't believe I have been obsessing over your instagram for so long and then I literally run into you. Your latest sakura is stunning. You really are talented. Don't sell out." Chanyeol smiled awkwardly as the words tumbled out of his mouth. His heart had come to life and his mouth had developed a mind of its own. He looked at his watch. "Shit. I have to go or I'll be late for a meeting." He stood up and so did Baekhyun. "Ah, I didn't really get to thank you properly, can I call you or something?" Baekhyun smiled. "Sure." He handed Chanyeol a business card with his details. "Next time you post my art make sure you tag me, okay?" Baekhyun laughed and Chanyeol smiled at him then headed for the door.

He was just about to walk out when he heard Baekhyun call out for him to wait. As he turned he saw the tiny man walk towards him quickly and knocking a chair over in the process. "Here. I want you to have it." Baekhyun handed Chanyeol his finished sakura canvas. "No. I couldn't." Chanyeol shook his head but Baekhyun insisted. "You seem to really like it. Take it." He did. He really wanted it. "Thank you Baekhyun."

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

His heart pounded in his chest like a bass drum. He took the painting, said goodbye and waved to Minseok, and walked out. As he sat in his car, chest heaving, breathing heavy, he felt his heart slow and stop. Everything was normal again. Chanyeol's own special kind of normal.

Chanyeols heart didnt beat.

Baekhyun leaned back in his chair, almost fell, and flailed his limbs wildly. Minseok laughed at him. "Did you just give away that painting?" Minseok asked. "Yeah." Baekhyun sighed. He didnt even know why. "He's a weird guy. Why do you think he keeps fainting and stuff?" Minsoek shrugged. "Maybe he's under a lot of pressure with his work." Baekhyun smiled to himself. He couldn't relate. He also didn't know how he was going to pay his rent next week. He stood up. "Oh well, better go and make another painting." A few brushes spilled out of his bag as he gathered his things.

As he walked out to head to the park he passed a few people on the way heading into the cafe. _Strange_. He thought. Minsoek had the cafe for about three years now but he wouldn't sell out either. He liked it the way it was and he wasn't about to start making ridiculous oversized milkshakes or put up big obnoxious signs, or modernise the interior. The tiny hole in the wall cafe had a small group of regular customers but it was far from a success. Minseok barely covered the rent on the place and had to work all day every day as he couldn't afford to employ anyone. Sometimes Baekhyun worked in there for him for free if he really needed a few hours off for something important. _Still better than being a sell out,_ he thought to himself, as he laid out in the park. He got to work on another sakura. He decided that he would like to paint at the beach the next day. He was in the mood for some new inspiration.

Chanyeol sipped his coffee out on his deck that overlooked the ocean. It was windy and the waves crashed against the cliff below his home. The meeting had gone well. The idol group were a talented group of kids and he was excited to work with them. He wasn't a sell out. Baekhyun was wrong. He loved what he did and it paid the bills as well. There was nothing wrong with that.

He walked inside. Tiffany was out with her friends. She was sweet but her friends were another story. Vain, vapid and boring, she stopped inviting him out with them as he never said yes. He really didn't understand women. How they all wanted to go out together, in little groups, dressed alike and twittering like little birds. He saw the painting, the beautiful sakura, and went in to the entry foyer at the front of the house. There was a beautiful old oak end table opposite the front door. It was hand carved and weathered, with sakuras carved around the edge and into the legs. He had found it in a tiny flea market in Japan and it had cost him more to ship it home than it had to buy.

He removed the mirror hanging over it and replaced it with the sakura. The blue vase on the table was swapped out with a cream pottery dish and a piece of driftwood he had found on the beach below. Chanyeol stood back, snapped the picture, and uploaded it to his Instagram. He captioned it simply. "thank you @bbhart for this and everything else". He clicked 'share' and posted the stunning image.

As he stared at the image he thought of the man. The tiny walking cyclone, grungy and artistic, sassy and sharp tongued, and caring. Devoted to his craft. Devoted to his friends. Concerned about a stranger and generous enough to give away a week's work without a thought.

_Flutter flutter._

The butterflies were back.

Chanyeol knew he had to see him again.

 

Chanyeol lay awake in bed. He had been awake for a while, just trying to process the events of the last two days. He needed to take Baekhyun with him to Dr Yoo. He pictured that conversation. _"Hey Baekhyun. I know we just met. But I have this 'one in 6 billion' condition where my heart doesn't beat. Well it didn't before. But when you're around it does and I need to find out why. So could you come to my Dr with me and try to find out?"_

He rolled over and groaned and hid his face under the pillow. At least it was Saturday and he had two days free to mull over his situation. He had to be sure. He had to meet Baekhyun somewhere besides the café.

Chanyeol was happy to wake up alone. Tiffany usually went home to her own apartment when she'd been out with the girls. It was a long expensive taxi ride up the cliff. She had been hinting for months to move in together but something was holding Chanyeol back. He loved her. What he considered to be love anyway. He cared for her and enjoyed her company. She was kind and sweet and smart. She worked as a PR executive for her friend's fashion design house and liked to buy shoes.

He walked into his bathroom and ran the water. He inspected his reflection and thought about Baekhyun. He was everything Chanyeol was not. Baekhyun's face was small and his jawline was both sharp and delicate. His eyes were expressive and almond shaped. His nose was small and his ears were as well. Everything about him screamed beautiful. He was a living, breathing representation of his own eye for aesthetic.

Chanyeol never considered himself good looking. His features all seemed too big for his face. His ears were big and stuck out of the sides of his head. His body was huge, he was tall and broad and his hands and feet were all big. He never felt beautiful.

He groaned at his own critical self reflection and went to get some breakfast. It was a warm morning and he enjoyed the sound of the waves lapping gently at the bottom of the cliff. The tide was high. Later when it was lower Chaneyol decided to descend the steps built down the cliff face and lay on the beach. He was glad Tiffany wasn't here. He decided not to call her today. She hated the beach.

He couldn't get over what Baekhyun said to him about selling out. It was clearly a wound within the man. If his girlfriend wanted him to take a job in her Dad's company then he obviously wasn't making much money off his art. And it was obviously a problem for his girlfriend. Chanyeol wondered if he was still struggling to make a living would Tiffany still be with him?

Chanyeol remembered the early days, making songs, spending weeks on them and being paid a pittance, the work and reward so unbalanced. He suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Baekhyun had worked hard on the sakura painting and just gave it to Chanyeol. Chanyeol couldn't imagine himself gifting someone a song for nothing, especially not in the early days, when he didn't know how he was going to pay rent some weeks.

He grabbed his phone out and searched for the card Baekhyun handed him yesterday. He entered Baekhyun's contact details as BBH Art and smiled. At least now he had an excuse to text him.

**_today 9:20am_** **_to: bbh art_**

**_hi Baekhyun its Chanyeol from the café I feel like I need to pay you for the painting_**  


He stretched out on the chair outside on the deck and sipped his coffee. His phone buzzed soon after he sent the text with a reply.

**_today 9:23am_** **_from:bbh art_**

**_hi Chanyeol from the café you are not paying me for the painting it was a gift_**  


**_today 9:24am_** **_to: bbh art_**

**_well I went there yesterday to thank you and I was the one who ended up with a gift. what can I do to thank you?_ **

_Flutter flutter._

Chanyeol rolled his eyes to himself. It had begun again. Why this person? Why did this man have such an effect on him? Even from a distance.

One text from Baekhyun had been enough to bring his heart to life. It was trying desperately to beat in his chest. The butterflies were becoming stronger. His heart seemed to badly want to beat.

Baekhyun was hiding under his blankets. Weekends really meant nothing to him other than the fact that Jessica would be pestering him and he would have to find some way to avoid her for the next two days. She had sent him repeated 2am texts last night, wanting him to come to her apartment. He couldn't have thought of anything worse, a drunk Jessica trying to put her hands and mouth on him at 2am in her cold, clinical apartment. He had to end it. He knew that. He just didn't know when or how.

His phone buzzed and he almost ignored it but he rolled over and looked at it and smiled.   


**_today 9:20am_** **_from: unknown number_**

**_Hi Baekhyun its Chanyeol from the café I feel like I need to pay you for the painting_**  


He saved the number into his phone and replied, saying the painting was a gift. He didn't want money for it. He would get an extension on his rent and had enough cup ramen to last a while. He was no sell out and if he wanted to gift someone a piece then he would.

He rolled over and stared at the roof. Chanyeol was such an unusual guy. He couldn't work out why he was so drawn to him, why he couldn't stop thinking about him, why he felt compelled to chase after him and give him the painting. Chanyeol was everything he wasn't. Tall and strong and handsome, cool and calm, and besides the fainting and heart attacks he had his life under control. Baekhyun always felt small, clumsy and awkward, and feminine. Chanyeol was such a _man_. Baekhyun thought about his big hand shaking his own small and dainty one and felt hot all over. _What the fuck, Baek?_ He whispered to himself.

His phone buzzed again. He read the text message and grinned.

**_today 9:24am_** **_from: heartattackpcy_**

**_well I went there yesterday to thank you and I was the one who ended up with a gift. what can I do to thank you?_ **

He knew what he wanted and he sent the reply straight away.  


**_today 9:29am_** **_from: bbhart_**

**_you want to thank me? you can take me to the beach!_ **

Chanyeol had to laugh when he read the reply. They definitely had a connection. He was scared to be around Baekhyun, he didn't know what his heart was going to do, if he was going to be okay. He could feel the butterflies already coming to life.

_flutter flutter. flutter flutter._

He had to take a chance.

**_today 9:30am_** **_to: bbhart_**

**_send me your address. i'll pick you up at 11am._ **

 

Chanyeol rode the elevator in Baekhyun's apartment up to the 14th floor. He looked down at his outfit. He had chosen something he hoped was a bit cooler than yesterday. His shirt, still a white button up, was short sleeved and had a thin self stripe. He wore it open over a black tank and black shorts. He'd added a cap even though his ears stuck out underneath it even worse than they usually did. He reassesed his outfit then suddenly wondered why he even cared. Its not like it was a date or anything, and Baekhyun was another guy, why was his outfit so important?

He shook his head and opened the door. His breath caught in his chest. Baekhyun was wearing a vintage yellow and brown hawaiian shirt left unbuttoned almost to his bellybutton over a simple pair of cream drill shorts. A leather thong tied multiple times around his neck for a necklace and a oversized sun hat completed his look. It was effortless, chic and stunning.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol's heart came to life instantly.

He calmed his nerves and controlled his breathing. He felt big and awkward and very uncool again. _Fuck. Anyone would think I had a crush on him or something._ Chanyeol thought to himself. He wasn't even gay. Or bi. He was most definitely straight. He snapped out of his thoughts to realise he was just standing in the doorway staring at Baekhyun.

"So are you going to come in or are we just leaving?" Baekhyun asked and Chaneyol followed him inside. His apartment was tiny but amazing. Everything screamed Baekhyun. Old books covered every spare surface and everything was obviously second hand and carefully chosen. Chanyeol wandered around while Baekhyun filled his leather bag with his art supplies and found a towel. He returned to find Chanyeol staring intently at his ibis sculpture. "I'm guessing this isn't for sale." Chanyeol asked and Baekyun shook his head. "That is my first and only sculpture. And no it's not for sale."

They headed down the elevator to Chanyeol's car, Baekhyun managing his bag and towel, and Chaneyol carrying a large canvas that Baekhyun had chosen to work on. Baekhyun was grinning like a child by the time they got to the car. "You seem really happy." Chanyeol observed the expression on the small man's face. "I never get to go paint at the beach. I don't have a car and I can't take all this on the bus. Plus it's boring by yourself." He smiled at Chanyeol. "I hope this didn't seem like a weird thing to ask you for but Minseok's always working and my girlfriend hates the beach."

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol turned back to the road and gripped the wheel tight.

His heart pounded all the way to his house. As the car sped up the cliff Baekhyun's eyes filled with wonder. He looked out the window with his eyes shining, taking everything in, enjoying the beautiful view. As they pulled into the driveway he turned to Chanyeol and asked where they were. "This is my house. I live at the beach." He smiled at the look on Baekhyun's face as they walked into his home.

Chaneyol opened the door and Baekyun was greeted with his own artwork as soon as he walked in. He was speechless. The whole image was perfect. He knew now why he had been so compelled to gift it to Chanyeol. He understood it and valued it. He carefully inspected the carved oak table. "Where did you find this?" He turned to Chanyeol with his eyes full of delight. "Japan." Chanyeol smiled. "Didn't you see? I posted a picture. I even made sure I tagged you this time." Baekhyun laughed. He hadn't been on Instagram yet today but he pulled his phone out, opened the app and went to his notifications. He double tapped and a heart appeared over Chanyeol's photo.

Chanyeol packed snacks from his refrigerator, added a bottle of wine to the bag, and grabbed a huge blanket from a pile outside on the deck before leading Baekhyun to the staircase that led to the beach. Baekyun was still wide eyed. "I can't believe you live here. Right on the beach." He marvelled as they descended. "Yeah well that's what selling out gets you." Chanyeol was only half joking. "Come on man, I said I didn't mean it." Baekhyun was stung. Chanyeol could tell and he stopped and turned to face him. On the stairs, with Chanyeol three steps down, they were eye to eye. "Sorry. It was a cheap shot." Baekhyun's puppy eyes would haunt him unless he made the other man smile. As they stared into each other's eyes for a second too long Chanyeol's heart pounded harder than it ever had. He absentmindedly clutched at his chest and Baekhyun noticed straight away. "Are you okay?" Chanyeol cursed in his head. "Yes. I'm fine."

They finally made it to the bottom, with the snacks and wine, and blankets and towels, and canvases and paints. Chanyeol spread out the blanket while Baekhyun set up his canvas. "I want to swim." Chanyeol said to Baekhyun as he tossed his cap onto the blanket, stripped off his shirt, and ran into the waves. Baekhyun just stared at him. His heart skipped a beat as Chanyeol lifted his shirt over his head. He had never seen a man so fit and well built before. His chest and arm muscles were well defined and his abs were prominent. His skin was flawless and as he turned and ran into the waves he seemed to be moving in slow motion.

Baekhyun stared at him, lost in the vision of the tall well built man running into the waves, drawn in by the beauty not only in Chanyeol's body but how well he fit into the scenery. He felt himself grow warm all over and something pulled inside deep between his stomach and his groin. He shook himself out of his reverie. What was happening to him? He wasn't gay. Unless you counted that one time he got drunk in college and made out with his roomate but that didn't count. He needed a distraction.

He set up his canvas and began to paint. The blues and greens and greys of the beach were a refreshing change from the pink sakura. This was what he needed. He lost himself in inspiration and before he knew it Chanyeol was walking towards him out of the water. Salty beads, sparkling in the sunlight, dripped from his muscular body and his hair was soaked. He shook his head sending water flying everywhere as he walked up the beach towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun couldn't breath. It felt like his heart had stopped. What was wrong with him?

Chanyeol moved behind him to check out what he had painted. His naked torso was inches from Baekhyun, he was so close Baekhyun could feel his warm breath faintly ghosting across his neck. "It's beautiful." Chanyeol said. "I want to buy it." Baekhyun started to laugh. "It's not even finished yet." Chanyeol moved to face him and stared into his eyes. "I don't care. I know when I want something. And I want it."

 

The sun had risen high in the sky and started to drop by the time Baekhyun was done. Once he got inspired he had to keep going and he had refused Chanyeol's offers of snacks, water, wine and fruit. He just wanted to keep working. Finally he was done. He had never completed a beach scene in just a few short hours but Chanyeol, the beach, the waves, all combined into an inspiring muse that fed Baekhyun's work. He turned it towards Chanyeol who just stared at it. In the scene the waves crashed against the shore, the rocks to the side glistened with sea spray and on the other side you could see the image of a tall man with a muscular back standing in waist deep water, hands on hips, staring out at the horizon. It was stunning. Chanyeol loved it.

**_THUMP THUMP.THUMP THUMP._ **

His heart pounded out a heavy and solid rhythm and he desperately willed it to slow down. "Baek, it's beautiful." He stared at it and silently begged his heart to go back to sleep. "Now will you eat something?" Baekhyun smiled and took a place on the blanket. Chanyeol sat across from him and offered him a glass of wine. He took it and grabbed some berries off a plate. He laughed to himself. "This is a nice date Chanyeol. Your girlfriend is a lucky woman!" Chanyeol stared down at his wine. Tiffany would hate this. She would have complained about the wind and the sand and gone inside hours ago.

"She doesn't like doing things like this." Chanyeol admitted. "She would rather sit up on the deck and read Vogue. She's sweet through." His words felt empty as he thought about Tiffany. So did his heart. If he didn't want her to move in now would he ever? She was sweet but he really couldn't describe any other aspects of her personality. She liked clothes and fashion and hanging out with her friends who Chanyeol had successfully avoided meeting. They had been together for more than a year but he felt like he knew Baekhyun better after just a few days.

Baekhyun watched Chanyeol think. He knew how he felt. He had his own girl problems he didn't know how to fix. Only he was sure he didn't even want to fix his. He wanted out. He'd had more fun today with Chanyeol than he'd ever had with Jessica. Chanyeol could see the same value in things, beauty in the same places, peace in the same moments.

Baekhyun downed his wine and leaned over for the bottle to pour another, knocked Chanyeol's glass over onto the blanket, and accidentally upended the plate of berries when he tried to rescue it. Chanyeol just shook his head and laughed. "You're such a disaster! How have all those beautiful pieces in your home survived you?" He poured another wine for Baekhyun and ran back into the surf for one last swim. When he emerged he found Baekhyun asleep on the rug. He had drool running out of his mouth and a squashed strawberry stuck to his head but somehow it just increased his charming appeal. Chanyeol thought he looked adorable. He felt his hand almost reach out and brush his hair back from his face but he stopped himself just in time. What was happening to him? Chanyeol shook his head and poured another glass of wine. He had to talk to him. He had to take him to see Dr Yoo.

Baekhyun woke up embarassed and picked the strawberry off his hair. "Sorry. How embarassing. Must have been the wine." His face was red. He couldn't believe he went to sleep. The sun was inching closer and closer to the horizon. Chanyeol was just sitting by him staring sadly out at the sea. "It's fine." He said. "You were only out for about half an hour and I was in the water most of the time anyway." Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol. "I've had a really great day. I'm kind of glad I knocked your coffee all over you. I don't have any friends besides Minseok and I really could do with one."

Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun with a serious look on his face. "Baek. I have to tell you something. It's really important and I don't want you to freak out. But you need to believe me. It's something you need to know if we're going to be friends. Ok?" Baekhyun turned to face him. "Chaneyol when someone says don't freak out it makes me freak out. So what is it?"

"I know we have literally only known each other for days. Although for some reason I feel like I know you well, like we've been friends for years, and I can't work out why that is. So I need to tell you why you thought I was having a heart attack. Baekhyun my heart doesn't beat." Baekhyun stared at him. "What do you mean your heart doesn't beat." Without thinking he leaned over to put his hand on Chanyeol's bare chest and Chanyeol jumped back. "Wait. That's the thing. My heart hasn't beaten all my life. Not once. I've had every medical test under the sun. When I was a baby they told my parents I wouldn't live. I couldn't live. But I did and they can't explain it to me. No one can tell me how or why."

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol took a deep breath and continued. "Baekhyun, that day when I ran into you at the cafe my heart started beating. It only beats when you're around. That's why I freaked out. That's why I fainted. That's why I asked you here today. My Doctor doesn't believe me. I need you to come to the heart clinic with me. Please."

Baekhyun couldn't believe what he was hearing. He eyed Chanyeol suspiciously. "Okay." He said slowly. "So when I leave your heart will just stop." Chanyeol nodded. "Yep. It slows down and stops." Baekhyun moved closer. "Can I hear it?" He asked and didn't wait for an answer. He leaned over pressed his head against Chanyeol's bare chest. He listened and could hear its steady rhythm.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

It sounded magical to Baekhyun. He closed his eyes and listened as the warmth of Chanyeol's bare skin spread across his cheek. He reached up with his hand to place it on Chanyeol's chest and suddenly pulled back. He jumped away, red and embarrassed, he didn't know what came over him.

He looked up at Chanyeol who had tears in his eyes. "I'll come to the heart clinic with you. Of course I will. I'll help you find out what is going on."

 

Baekhyun laid in his bed staring at the roof. He couldn't sleep. Chanyeol had written him a cheque for the painting, and brought him home, and he had showered and eaten and was now laying awake. It had been a lot to process. He had made a new friend. Someone he really liked. Someone who made him feel a way he had never felt before. A new friend with a very scary medical problem. And he'd be able to pay his rent next week. He'd asked Chanyeol for $350 for the painting which would give him two weeks room to breathe and he'd handed him a folded up cheque on the spot.

He scrolled through his camera roll. He had snapped a few pictures at the beach for inspiration. He laughed at one particular photo. The scene was beautiful. The waves were rolling and the sun was dropping and the sky was alight with pinks and golds and violets. And in the bottom corner of the photo a pair of enormous feet stuck up into the frame. Baekhyun began to laugh. He had to post it. He opened Instagram and centred the picture. He captioned it 'when **@producerpcy** ruins the aesthetic' and added the hastag #adayatthebeach and hit 'share'. He smiled to himself as he remembered their day. He felt sad when he thought of how sad Chaneyol seemed. About his heart. About his girlfriend who he claimed to love but who hated the beach. He seemed to be sad about a lot of things.

He got up out of bed and got a drink of water. He cringed with embarrassment when he remembered falling asleep and waking up with a strawberry stuck to his head. He thought about the beautiful picnic, the easy flowing conversation, his sakura holding pride of place in Chanyeol's entrance. He thought about Chanyeol emerging from the surf like a god. Heat washed over him and something pulled deep inside his stomach. He felt himself stiffen inside his boxers and rolled his eyes. _Fuck_. His dick really had a mind of it's own when he hadn't gotten laid for a while.

He wandered back to bed and grabbed his phone. 3 missed calls from Jessica. He had been avoiding her for days and decided to call her back. "How the fuck do you know Park Chanyeol." She yelled down the phone. "Well hello to you too." Baekhyun replied sarcastically. "Seriously. How do you know him?" She was pissed off. He could tell. She was always pissed off. "I met him at Minseok's cafe and we hit it off. Why?" "He's my friend's boyfriend. Tiffany. My PR officer. She's been looking for him all day, crying because he won't answer her calls, and he's laying on the beach with you?" Now she was really yelling. "How the fuck am I supposed to explain that to my friend? You're so embarrassing Baekhyun!" Baekhyun had enough. This was too much. "You know what Jessica? I dont care how you explain it. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm done. It's over. Don't call me again. We're finished." He hung the phone up.

He threw the phone down on the bed. It buzzed and buzzed again. He leaned over and turned it off. He felt angry, hurt and in a strange way kind of relieved. In the end it was like ripping off a bandaid. It stung like fuck but it was over. Three years over just like that. Why wasn't he sadder?

Chanyeol drove away from Baekhyun's apartment building, felt the soothing slow of his heart, relaxed when it stopped. It had been pounding away all day and he had kind of gotten used to the feeling. He felt weirdly empty now it had stopped. At least Baekhyun hadn't run a mile when he told him. He was so kind. They barely knew each other and he had just listened to Chanyeol and agreed to go to his doctor.

He drove up the winding cliff to his home, got out his car, and walked inside. Greeted by the beautiful sakura he felt another now familiar feeling in his chest.

_flutter flutter_

They were back. The butterflies.

He jumped in shock when Tiffany walked out of the kitchen. He had given her a key but she had never actually used it to invite herself over before. "Hi Chanyeol." She said sadly. "Where have you been all day? I tried to call you a hundred times." Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at him. "I was just hanging out on the beach. You hate the beach. That's why I didn't invite you over." He hugged her and she fell against his chest. He knew he should feel bad but he didn't. When did she become so clingy? He untangled himself from her arms. "I'm making coffee." He said as he headed into the kitchen. He heard Tiffany's phone ringing and he could tell by the way she answered it that some piece of juicy gossip had been discovered by one of the pigeons she hung out with.

He made his coffee and left one for Tiffany on the bench. He walked out onto his deck. The sound of waves crashed below. It was rhythmic, like a steadily beating heart, and he could smell the salt in the warm air. He lost himself in the moment, sipping his coffee, enjoying the night, until the door crashed open and closed behind him.

"You weren't alone today. You were with Byun Baekhyun." Chanyeol spun around to face her. How did she know Baekhyun? Tiffany sank into the seat next to him. "How long have you been hanging out with him?" Chanyeol was still in shock. "How do you know Baekhyun?" "Duh, my friend and boss. Jessica. Baekhyun's her boyfriend. Or at least he was. He just dumped her over the phone. Three years they've been together and he's just dumped her. What a loser." She rolled her eyes and kept going. "Jessica always went on about what a loser he was. With his art which never paid the bills, sitting home in his tiny crappy apartment eating cup noodles, working in his friend's coffee shop for free." Chanyeol felt fire rising in his chest but she kept on talking. "Can you believe Jessica's dad offered him an executive job at his company and he turned it down? Chanyeol why would you hang out with someone like that? You're someone Chanyeol. Someone important. Losers like that will only bring you down."

Chanyeol sucked up all his self control and turned to Tiffany. "He's not a loser. He's an amazing person. He's funny and caring and kind. And his art is spectacular. Your friend Jessica sounds like a real bitch." He picked up his coffee cup and walked inside before he said something he would really regret. He wondered what had happened to make Baekhyun dump her. He hadn't seemed very happy when he talked about her and the whole thing with her dad's company had really hurt him. Chanyeol hoped he was okay.

He walked into the living area and looked at the canvas. The sky was a beautiful haze of blues and greys, mirrored perfectly in the colours of the water. The waves looked creamy and foamy and so real. The rocks were sharp and prominent. And there, in the bottom corner, the figure of a man stood. Tall and strong, with every muscle and shadow outlined to perfection, Chanyeol couldn't believe it was him. The figure in the water was beautiful. Too beautiful. Chanyeol had never thought of himself as beautiful before. Never in a photo, never in his reflection, never in his mind. But in this painting he was.

_Flutter flutter. Flutter flutter. Flutter flutter_.

_Is this how Baekhyun sees me?_

As he stretched out in bed, a silently sulking Tiffany besides him, Chanyeol opened his Instagram. His heart almost began to beat when he saw the notification ' **@bbhart** tagged you in a post'. He laughed out loud when he saw the picture. It was perfection. He double tapped the heart and left a comment. 'At least I didn't wake up with a strawberry stuck to my head.'

 

Baekhyun woke up. He finally fell asleep after tossing half the night. When he got up his whole body ached as if he had slept on a bed of rocks. He groaned and went to his tiny kitchen, filled up the kettle, and put a spoon of instant coffee into a mug. He added milk and boiling water and took it to the window. He might not have a deck or the ocean but he could still look out onto his neighbourhood and find snippets of beauty in the city.

He was still reeling from his conversation with Jessica last night. He remembered his phone. It was still off. He found it in the bed under the pillow and turned it on. He had a few missed calls from Jessica and a couple of Instagram notifications. And a text message from Chanyeol.  


**_today 12:07am_** **_from: heartattackpcy_** **_heard about your breakup. here if you need me_**

How did he know? And so soon? Obviously as soon as he finished his conversation with Jessica she went straight to Tiffany. Baekhyun opened his instagram and had to laugh when he saw Chaneyeol's comment on his picture. The whole internet knew he had a strawberry stuck to his head. Touché Mr Park. Well played.

He drank the rest of his instant coffee and wondered what he was going to do with his Sunday. He decided it would be a good idea to go and see if Minsoek wanted company or some time off. He opened the cafè on Sunday mornings but usually closed early if it wasn't busy. And it never was.

Baekhyun rummaged in his room, looking for something appropriate for either work or hanging out at the coffee shop. He picked up his shorts from yesterday and suddenly remembered the cheque. He retrieved it from the pocket, he couldn't lose it, it was his buffer against homelessness. He pulled it out and unfolded it and sank onto the bed. He had asked for $350 for the painting and this was a cheque for $3500. He thought it was a mistake, Chanyeol must have had too much wine, put on an extra zero by mistake. But he turned it over and read the note on the back.

_'A gift in return for the gift you have given me. Even this doesn't feel like enough. Please accept it.'_

Baekhyun knew he wasn't talking about the sakura. He felt hot all over. Why? Why was this man, who he had only just met, so kind and generous? Why did he feel like he owed Baekhyun something?

He grabbed his phone. His hands were shaking. He didn't know how to respond.   


**_today 8:10am_** **_to:heartattackpcy_** **_how did you know about my break up? and thank you. for yesterday and for the cheque._**

**_today 8:39am_** **_from:heartattackpcy_** **_tiffany came here last night. and your ex was on the phone to her as soon as you dumped her. small world. and you're welcome_**

Baekhyun cringed. It was a small world. He imagined Chanyeol's girlfriend relaying all the details of their fights and breakup that she would have heard from Jessica. Jessica would be saying awful things about him. She was like that, sweet when she was on your side, full of poison and vitriol if you crossed her. He just hoped that Chanyeol didn't believe the things they were saying.

He got dressed and shoved his phone and keys in his pocket. He walked to the cafe and almost fell over when he opened the door. There were people at every table. It had never been this full before. Minseok seemed to be keeping up but when he saw Baekhyun he was visibly relieved. "Need a hand?" Baekhyun smiled and pulled on an apron behind the counter. Minseok smiled back. They were run off their feet until the crowd began to wind down about 2pm. Finally the last few customers finished up and Minseok locked the door and turned off the coffee machine. He used the leftover brew to fill a large hazelnut latte for Baekhyun and his own long black and they sat at the table near the counter.

"People have been coming in ever since Chanyeol posted that picture on his Instagram." Minseok said by way of explanation. "I just can't keep up. They keep asking me about your art as well." Minseok said. "You should put prices on those pieces on the wall. I bet they'd sell." Baekhyun shook his head. "I gave those to you. They belong in the cafe not on the wall of some pretentious inner city hipster." Minseok laughed. "Well at least I can pay you for working today." Baekhyun shook his head again. "I don't need it. Keep it. I just made a commission." Minseok's eyes widened. "Who from?" Baekhyun felt himself blushing. He wished he hadn't said anything. But he couldn't hide things from Minseok. He was his only friend.

"Chanyeol." He admitted. He knew he was red from his neck to the tips of his ears. He swore inside again. _Fuck_. What was happening to him? Minseok looked at him curiosly. He decide to spill. He told Minsoek everything. From the way they had been stalking each other's Instagram without even knowing each other to the day at the beach. Jessica pressuring him to take a job at her dad's company, the painting and the wine and Baekhyun waking up with a strawberry stuck to his head. His fight with Jessica, the break up, the revelation that Jessica was friends with Chanyeol's girlfriend, the cheque. Baekhyun told Minseok everything. Finally he told him about Chanyeol's heart.

Minseok just sat and stared. It was a lot to take in. Finally he spoke.

"Wow. Baekhyun, you really are a walking disaster, something like this would only happen to you." He laughed a little and sipped his coffee. "So what are you going to do?" Baekhyun eyed him suspiciously. "What do you mean 'what am I going to do'? I'm going to go with him to the heart clinic tomorrow and try to help him work out what's wrong with him."

Minseok smiled at Baekhyun. "Maybe it's not whats wrong with him. Maybe you will find out what's right with him." He laughed at Baekyhun's confused eyes. "His heart didn't beat. That's something wrong. Now it does. That's something right. You've got it the wrong way around."

Baekhyun considered Minseok's words. Maybe he was right. He would find out tomorrow. Hopefully he could get the answers he needed.

Minseok eyed Baekyun's blushing face. "So it sounds like you had a really nice date yesterday." Baekhyun took the bait. "It wasn't a fucking date Minseok." He snapped and quickly apologised, his puppy eyes sad, his face falling in embarassment. "Sorry." Minseok laughed. "So why are you blushing and spacing out like a schoolgirl? It sounds like you had a great time with him."

Baekhyun got up and picked up his mug. "I don't know if you've noticed but i'm straight Minseok. And so his he. He has a girlfriend and I did up too until yesterday." He walked behind the counter and poured the very last of the brew in the jug into his mug. He added syrup and milk as Minseok followed him. "Yeah. You're so straight you used to make out with Sehun all the time in college and that's why he's not friends with us anymore." Baekhyun turned to Minseok. "It wasn't all the time. It was once. And that's not fair." Minsoek was amused by how easily he was winding Baekhyun up. "It was more than once and I know it." Minseok shot back. "I know you like him Baekhyun. I just don't want you to get hurt. Ok?" He put his hand on his friend's shoulder. Baekhyun's puppy eyes were sad and soulful as he looked into Minsoeks. "I'm not going to get hurt. Because he's just my friend."

 

Chanyeol left his meeting with a good feeling. He had just met with an independent rapper who was writing his first album and wanted to co-produce with Chanyeol. Chanyeol had been skeptical but after meeting with the guy he decided he would say yes to co-producing two tracks. He got in his car and headed for Minsoek's cafe. He had made arrangements with Baekhyun to meet there before they went to the hospital for the heart clinic appointment.

He was early and walked up to the counter to order. Minseok grinned at him as he looked around seeing how busy the cafe was. "Thanks for the free advertising." He pushed two huge takeaway cups towards him. "Two extra large hazelnut lattes. On the house." Chanyeol took them. "But why two?" He asked and Minseok's eyes flicked behind him. He turned and saw Baekhyun walk in. He was wearing ripped black jeans, his scuffed black boots, and a black oversized v neck tshirt. He was also wearing a black choker and a fine line of eyeliner around each eye. Chanyol sucked in a deep breath. He looked like a model. A teeny tiny pocket sized model.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Baekhyun looked past Chanyeol at a grinning Minseok behind the counter. He took the coffee from Chanyeol's hand. "My favorite. How did you know?" Chanyeol said. "I didn't until now. My favorite as well." They smiled at each other and Baekhyun suggested they go out to the park. It was a beautiful day. The branches were bare but the sakura had dropped making a pink carpet on the grass. Baekhyun couldn't resist it. He handed his coffee to Chanyeol and laid on the ground. He grabbed a handful of petals and tossed them in the air and as they drifted down around his face Chanyeol felt a strange stirring inside. More than his beating heart. It was lower and deeper than his chest. Baekhyun just looked so beautiful, so joyful, so alive. He was also such a child, living with freedom and without heavy responsibilities.He just looked so happy. Chanyeol grabbed his phone and snapped a picture.

They drank their coffees as they walked to the hospital. They entered and Chanyeol walked the path he had walked a million times before. They took the elevator up to the heart clinic and went straight in to the examination room. Chanyeol became visibly nervous as they waited and Baekhyun instinctively moved closer to him. He held him by the arm and stroked it slowly. "It'll be fine. Everything will be fine." Chanyeol swallowed thickly. He wished Baekhyun would stop touching him. Or touch him more. He couldn't work out which one was the right answer. Before he could think anymore about it Dr Yoo walked in. "Hi Chanyeol." He said. "Hi Dr Yoo. This is Baekhyun." Baekhyun let go of Chanyeol's arm and shook the Doctor's hand. Chanyeol lifted his shirt off over his head and climbed up onto the examination bed.

Dr Yoo put his stethescope onto Chaneyol's chest and stared at him with wide unbelieving eyes. "I told you." Chanyeol hissed, half annoyed, half triumphant.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol's heart was beating.

Dr Yoo quickly hooked him up to all the usual machines, recording his breathing, his heart rate, his pulse and brain activity, blood oxygen levels and anything else that could be recorded. Baekhyun just sat and stared. "You do this once a week?" Chanyeol nodded. "Yep. Since I was born. There's also ultrasounds, MRIs, CT scans and blood tests. But they're not every week." Baekhyun's eyes filled with tears. He blinked them back and looked away. He couldn't imagine going through this every week. Chanyeol didn't deserve this.

Dr Yoo ran his tests, printed out his reports, and wrote in his record book. "I'm sorry Chanyeol. I don't have any answers for you. All we can do is monitor the situation. How do you feel?" Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun then at the ground. "Amazing. I feel better than I have ever felt." He looked up at Baekhyun who was staring intently at him, those puppy eyes full of pity and sympathy and warmth. Dr Yoo stood up and shook Baekhyun's hand again as they left. "Thank you so much for coming Mr Byun. You're a good friend." Baekhyun didn't feel like a good friend. He felt like the cause of all Chanyeol's problems.

They rode the elevator down in silence. As soon as they walked out into the sunshine Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol. "I don't think we should see each other anymore." Chanyeol's world came crashing down with Baekhyun's words. "What do you mean? Why?" Tears filled Baekhyun's eyes. _Fuck_. He couldn't help it. "I just feel like if you hadn't met me this wouldn't be happening. You have enough to deal with and now I'm in you life I'm just making more trouble for you." He turned to walk away.

**_THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP._ **

Chanyeol's heart was pounding in his ears.

Chanyeol grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. "Don't you dare walk away from me." He fumed. He stared down at the smaller man with fire in his eyes. "Don't bullshit to me. You're just scared. Something is happening here Baekhyun. I know you feel it too. I'm not going to let you walk out of my life." He stared into Baekhyun's eyes and the smaller man looked up and met his gaze with his own fierce passion. Chanyeol was right. He didn't know what was happening but it was unstoppable, like a wildfire burning out of control. He couldn't move. He was transfixed by Chanyeol's gaze.

Finally Chanyeol was the one to back down. He dropped his gaze and they began to walk back towards the cafe. Chanyeol had left his car parked there and as they walked back across the park a few late falling sakura blossoms floated around their heads. The silence was heavy with unspoken emotions as they walked in wordless steps. The scene was perfect. The lazy sunlight, the falling blossoms, the smell of grass in the air. Chanyeol felt an overwhelming urge to take Baekhyun in his arms and he didn't even know why. He had never ever felt like this about anyone. Not just another guy, but about anyone, he knew if he was walking with Tiffany through this park it would just be a means of getting from one place to another. She was only interested in the destination. Not the journey. Finally Chanyeol was able to start making some sense of how and why he was drowning in all these confusing emotions.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol's heart willed him to take a chance.

He stopped in front of Baekhyun and took hold of both his hands. His heart beat like thunder in his chest. "Baekhyun, I understand if you want to walk away from me after this, but I really need to try it. My heart is telling me something and I have to listen." He moved one hand to Baekhyun's waist and his other went to cup Baekhyun's cheek. He leaned down, breathing softly and closing his eyes, and their lips met in a gentle kiss. It was soft and barely there, a ghost of a kiss, their lips brushing on top of each other. But it was enough for Chanyeol to know he wanted more and he pulled Baekhyun closer by the waist and moved his lips and pressed them harder against the smaller man's.

Baekhyun felt faint. He wanted more, his body and his lips began to move instinctively, and he leaned up on his tip toes to meet Chanyeol's lips harder. He parted his lips and allowed Chanyeol's tongue to enter and search for his own and they met and caressed like long lost lovers.

As the last of the sakura blossoms fell around them they melted into each other, their kiss becoming more passionate and more desperate, their mouths hungry for each other. While Chanyeol's heart pounded like it was going to jump out of his chest Baekhyun felt like his heart might stop at any moment. Finally they pulled apart. "What do we do now?" Baekhyun whispered. "Want to come to the beach?" Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun nodded. He wanted to go to the beach. Very much.

 

 

The drive up the cliff seemed to go on forever. Baekhyun tried hard not to look at Chanyeol. Chanyeol tried his hardest to look at the road. His heart pounded harder in his chest than it ever had.

_thump thump. thump thump. thump thump_.

He went over and over the kiss in his mind. He knew it was wrong on so many levels. He wasn't gay. He wasn't even bi. He had a girlfriend who he had kind of forgotten about until now. _Shit_. He swore inside his head. But when he looked sideways at Baekhyun, staring out the window in silently perfect beauty, all those things seemed to wash away. All he could think about were Baekhyun's petal pink lips and the way they felt pressed against his. He felt his dick grow inside his pants. He groaned and rubbed his nose as he drove.

Baekhyun watched Chanyeol. He could see the stress on his face. ' _I'm such a fucking problem for everyone_ ' was all Baekhyun could think. Jessica was right. He was a loser. He sighed and leaned back on the carseat. He was so selfish. He felt something inside him growing for Chanyeol. It had started out as just a seed, planted over sakura and hazelnut latte, but it had taken root and sprouted and spread through his whole body. He had such a great time with him at the beach. It felt so comfortable, so easy, so the opposite of spending time with Jessica. When he was with Chanyeol he felt like his true self. True fucking loser.

_You're hurting him._

_His heart shouldn't be beating_.

_You might be killing him._

He pushed those thoughts aside. Just for once, just tonight, he wanted to be selfish.

Chanyeol pulled his car up and they walked into the house. The sun was setting and the temperature had begun to drop. "Do you want to go down to the sand or stay up here?" Chaneyol asked. Baekhyun wasn't used to being asked what he wanted. "Stay up here." Baekhyun replied. He took a seat at the long bench in the huge kitchen while Chanyeol busied himself with things he pulled out of the cupboards. He slid a bottle across the bench towards Baekhyun. Tequila. "I'm out of wine." He said. "You want margaritas?" Baekhyun nodded, swallowed thickly, and shifted in his seat. He was a terrible drinker. Two margaritas and he would be on the floor. Chanyeol just grinned at him and found salsa in the cupboard and avocadoes in the fruit bowl. It was a good excuse to make nachos.

Chanyeol busied himself to hide his nerves. He couldn't stop staring at the tiny man perched perfectly on the stool in his kitchen. The moment in the park when their lips met and the sakura fell was heavenly. He wanted it again. He wanted it a million times. He blended tequila and lime and ice and poured it into two huge glasses. He hoped the margaritas helped.

An hour and two maragitas later and Baekhyun was all giggles. He was on his back on one of the huge outdoor couches on Chanyeol's deck. His arms were raised behind his head and a strip of skin between his shirt and jeans was exposed. The breeze was cool but the margaritas made him warm and he didn't notice his bare skin. Chanyeol did. The alcohol had made his mind fuzzy and warm and he felt himself moving in slow motion. He silently cursed himself, he was out of control, but just this once he saw what he wanted and went for it.

He moved over to the couch where Baekhyun's tiny body was splayed out at all angles. His huge hands caressed the smooth skin of the smaller man where it was exposed to the night. Baekyun sat up and looked at him. He knew they shouldn't, he knew it was wrong, but why did it feel so right? He reached out with his delicate fingers and found Chanyeol's hair as the huge man moved himself between his knees. And as the waves crashed below and the cool breeze blew across the night they kissed again. It started out soft and slow but the alcohol in their systems had erased their inhibitions. Chanyeol moved himself closer, kissed Baekhyun harder, and eventually found himself on top of the other man.

**_THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP._ **

His heart pounded out a heavy rhythym, heavier than he had ever felt before, and it felt amazing. He had never felt so alive.

Baekhyun laid back on the couch. His small hands in Chanyeol's hair gripped tightly and he pulled the other man down on top of him. Chanyeol held his weight on his arms so as to not squash the tiny man underneath him but Baekhyun wasn't scared. All he could think about was getting Chaneyol on top of him. As they kissed Chaneyol felt his dick grow again, it was hard and cramped inside his pants, and he groaned as he rubbed it against Baekhun's thigh. Baekhyun's lips seperated from Chanyeols. He needed oxygen desperately and as he sucked in all the air he could he felt Chanyeol's lips move to his neck and start sucking. Chanyeol's fingers worked the tie of Baekhyun's choker and he undid it and let it fall to the ground. As he nibbled and licked and found all the places that Baekhyun liked, the smaller man found his own dick had come to life, and was straining inside his boxers.

Chaneyol moved his lips back to meet Baekhyuns own. Those petal pink lips he had been thinking about and they were all his. He took the bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled so gently and Baekhyun moaned and twisted beneath him. "You're so fucking beautiful Baekhyun. You're perfect." The words came out of his mouth of their own accord. He thrust against the warm body beneath him and the more Baekhyun responded to his body the more it wanted to push against him.

Chanyeol ran one hand up and under Baekhyun's tshirt, finally feeling the smooth milky skin he had been fantasising about, running his hand all the way over his ribs. Just as he dipped his head for another taste of Baekhyun's lips he heard a door slam.

"Channie. Where are you? I tried to call you but you didn't answer."

Fuck.

Chanyeol jumped up off Baekhyun who sat up urgently. He desperately tried to fix his hair and rearrange his rumpled shirt. Chanyeol smoothed down his own hair frantically before Tiffany joined them outside on the deck. "I tried to call you. Oh." She repeated her earlier sentence before catching sight of a rumpled Baekhyun, swollen lips and hooded eyes, sitting opposite Chanyeol on the deck.

"Hi. I'm Tiffany." She introduced herself. "Baekhyun." He said before leaning back on the couch. "Oh. Baekhyun." She said to herself. She looked him up and down. He seemed drunk. His hair was a mess and he looked homeless to her. She noticed his faded jeans and heavily scuffed boots. She saw the choker lying on the floor. She eyed his face critically. Why was he wearing so much makeup?

Chanyeol cleared his throat nervously. He wanted her to leave. "Tiffany why are you here?" It sounded meaner than he intended. "I'm your girlfriend." She turned around and her eyes shot daggers. "I know. And I gave you a key for emergencies. Not so you could just walk into my house uninvited." Tears filled her eyes. "I didn't know I needed an invitation." She spun on her heel and walked inside.

"Sorry. I guess that kind of killed the mood." Chanyeol looked at the ground. Baekhyun smiled at him. "Maybe its for the best." Chanyeol shook his head. "No. No it's not. I want you Baekhyun." His intense gaze made Baekhyun shiver all over. He wanted him too. His mind could deny it all it wanted but his body and his heart had other ideas. "Well get her to leave then." Baekhyun whispered. He still had enough margarita in his system to feel brave. It was now or never.

"I've got a better idea." The tequila pumping through Chanyeol's body made him feel wildly uninhibited and he jumped up and grabbed a few of the huge beach blankets he kept on the deck. "Let's go." Baekhyun jumped up and followed him to the stairs and they laughed quietly as they slipped down to the beach below.

 

Chanyeol's heart pounded thunderously, competing with the waves, as the wind blew up around them. They ran down the last few steps and were on the beach. Chanyeol knew this beach inside out, even in the pitch black, and led Baekhyun to a sheltered spot next to the cliff.

He spread one of the blankets out over the damp sand and Baekhyun sat next to him. It wasn't cold but they snuggled together as the waves crashed against the shore. They were both still warm and fuzzy from the alcohol and their earlier kiss. Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun's body closer and breathed in against his neck. Cherries and cherry blossoms swam in his mind. Baekhyun turned his face up towards Chanyeol's and their eyes met in the dim light of the half moon.

"What are we doing Chanyeol?" His voice was small. "I'm so confused." "Me too." Chanyeol admitted. He looked away and stared down at his hands. Hands which longed to feel more of Baekhyun's skin under them. "I don't know what to think or what to do. I only know how I feel. About you." He took Baekhyun's cheek in his hand. "I've never even looked at another man before. But you're special." He buried his face in his hands. Ugh the cringe. He couldn't believe he said that.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

His heart pounded its hard and rhythmic beat, it seemed to be willing him on, a steady constant that he could cling to in his confusion.

"I'm not special. I'm a fuck up. And a disaster." Tears filled Baekhyun's eyes. Shit. He always cried when he drank. So embarassing. "I'm such a loser." His head was on his knees as he drew them to his chest. "No." Chanyeol pulled the smaller man into his lap. "None of that is true. You're kind and talented and sexy and perfect." Their lips clashed as they kissed again. Chanyeol moaned softly into Baekhyun's mouth. So good. Why did it feel so good? Tiffany wasn't his first girlfriend. He'd had his share of women in the past but nothing and no one had ever made him feel like this before. His body took over. He slowly laid backwards on the blanket and pulled Baekhyun on top of him. Their lips never broke apart as they kissed hard until they were sweaty and breathless.

Baekhyun couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't stop himself. Something inside compelled him to want more and more of Chanyeol. He wanted to feel him with his lips, his hands, every part of his body. He lifted Chanyeol's shirt up and was rewarded with another view of the ripped body he couldn't get out of his mind. He sighed with satisfaction and ran his hands up and down Chanyeol's stomach. He wanted to touch him somewhere lower and more intimate but he wasn't brave enough. Instead his slim fingers gripped into Chanyeol's narrow waist as he began to kiss his way up his neck to behind his ear.

Chanyeol was in heaven. His heart was pounding and his body was alive with the chemistry between them. His ears were filled with the crashing waves and the tiny gasps for air coming from Baekhyuns mouth as he pulled him even closer. Every single touch from Baekhyun was incredible. It was as if the man's hands were made of fire as they burned into Chanyeol's skin.

Chanyeol rolled over on top of Baekhyun. The smaller man seemed more timid and unsure and he didn't want him getting away. He pressed his body between Baekhyun's knees forcing the other to open his legs wide. Chanyeol sucked hard at Baekhyun's collarbone. Now he knew why the deep vneck tshirt looked so scandalous earlier in the daylight. The loose fabric served its purpose as Chanyeol easily pushed it aside gaining access to small tastes of Baekhyun's milky white skin. "So perfect." Was all he could mumble as his mouth hungered for even more.

Baekhyun's mind was full of confusion which soon gave way to arousal. In three years Jessica had never once made him feel this good. He opened up his legs wide allowing the huge man on top of him to press his growing bulge into Baekhyun's own. He had never been with another man. He didn't know what to do or what went where but he knew in that moment that he would give Chanyeol anything he wanted. Any part of Baekhyun that Chanyeol desired would be his.

As Chanyeol moaned on top of the other, thrusting and grinding, as he licked at Baekhyun's lips and his neck and his chest he couldn't think of anything else but Baekhyun's milky skin. Some deep seated instinct, wild and suddenly awoken, took over him as he tore at Baekhyun's shirt. "Let me see you. Please." He begged breathlessly as Baekhyun somewhat shyly allowed him to remove his shirt. Oh god. Chanyeol felt dizzy. His heart was pounding and his dick was throbbing. Baekhyun's skin was creamy white and his nipples were the same petal pink as his lips. Chanyeol took one in his mouth and one under his thumb and as he sucked gently they stiffened and Baekhyun's back arched underneath him.

"Perfect." He said again. It was the only description that felt right. He tore off his own shirt and tossed it aside. He wanted his bare skin on Baekhyun's. He  wanted their bodies to touch with nothing between them to interfere. He stroked Baekhyun's cheek as he reached down to his jeans with his other hand. "Can I?" He asked softly as Baekhyun swallowed nervously and nodded.

Baekhyun allowed Chanyeol to unzip his jeans and reached down so he could do the same. Their pants and underwear was quickly discarded and their bodies were bare under the night sky. Baekhyun had never felt more exposed, or more safe, in his whole life. As Chanyeol kissed his neck he felt their erections brush each other lightly and goosebumps sprang up all over his body. He was so hard. He was so fucking hard that he really thought he would come as soon as he was touched. His imagination ran wild as he thought about all the things they could do to each other.

Chanyeol nibbled at Baekhyun's earlobe as he grasped both their hard dicks together in one huge hand. "Baek, I've never been with another man before, I don't really know what to do but I swear I'll try to make you feel good." He breathed heavily into Baekhyun's ear as he began to stroke and thrust. The heat of their erections, Chanyeol's huge hand gripping them both tightly, the sound of the waves crashing in the background all combined to make Baekhyun groan loudly in ecstasy. He arched his body up to meet Chanyeol's hand and moaned when he felt the other begin to pump faster.

Chanyeol was lost. He was so lost in the intoxicating feeling of Baekhyun, so pale and perfect, twisting and moaning underneath him. He felt Baekhyun's breath become faster and more desperate and he released his own erection to focus on Baekhyun's. He pumped his hand in time with the rhythm of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears and Baekhyun's moans became steadily louder. He felt slim delicate fingers wrap around his hard dick as Baekhyun began to jerk him off and he thought he was going to faint.

Instead he thrust hard against his small soft hand and came, calling Baekhyun's name loudly into the night, releasing his hot salty liquid all over Baekhyun's hand and stomach. He relaxed and laid next to Baekhyun on the blanket and continued to stroke as he gently kissed his neck.

Baekhyun's sinful hips thrust hard in time with Chanyeol's hand and he came hard as he moaned loudly, his erection pulsing in Chanyeol's hand, his own come spilling out. Chanyeol was in a world of satisfaction. He'd had many orgasms before but something had always been missing, lacking, always slightly disappointing. Now he knew what had been missing. His heartbeat.

He reached for the other blanket and pulled it over their nakedness, as they lay tangled in a mess of sweat and sand and heat, and Chanyeol's heart pounded its steady rhythm. Baekhyun fit so perfectly in his arms, his soft hair tickling Chanyeol's chin, it was like he was made just for him. "Yeol, are we just going to stay here like this?" Baekhyun mumbled into Chanyeol's broad chest. Chanyeol just nodded. He wished they could stay there on the beach forever.

 

Naked under the blanket, damp sand beneath them and the night sky overhead, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were unmoving. With Baekhyun's body folded into his arms Chanyeol felt like nothing else existed. He wondered what it would feel like to sleep with Baekhyun next to him and his heart beating all night long.

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.

He was getting used to this feeling.

Waved began to crash and the wind whipped up around them. Chanyeol pulled the blanket over their heads and searched for Baekhyun's lips in the darkness. When he found them they tasted so sweet. He wanted to stay here forever. "Yeol." Baekhyun whispered. "We can't stay here all night." "Says who?" Chanyeol rolled over onto Baekhyun again and hushed his protests with his lips. His lips and his mouth and his tongue. He couldn't get enough.

Baekhyun felt his whole body respond. He ran his hands down the muscular back he immortalised in oil colours just days before. His soft hands wanted to inspect and memorise every inch of hard muscle. He couldn't resist the man on top of him. But Chanyeol's passion turned from fierce back to soft and as he kissed Baekhyun gently and they pulled apart they both knew they couldn't stay.

They found their sandy clothing and dressed. Chanyeol was full of life, he felt so good, he wanted more. More of Baekhyun. More of his lips, his skin, his body. He swept the small man up in his huge arms and squeezed him tight. Baekhyun, however, had lost the joy of the moment. Reality had hit him hard. He was quiet. "Baek. What's wrong?" Chanyeol said when he realised. He could see his soft features fall in the darkness. His face was sad. Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol. "What are we doing?" Chanyeol thought hard. Baekhyun had already asked him this question. "I don't know Baek. What are we doing?"

Baekhyun turned away. Their reality was sinking in. The warmth of the alcohol was wearing off and he shivered in the cool breeze. "I need to go home." He said and turned towards the stairs back up to the house. Chanyeol grabbed his arm. "Stay. I'm not ready for you to leave." Baekhyun whirled towards him, his soft features twisted in anger, pulled fiercely into fire as he he stared Chanyeol down. "Stay? What do you mean stay? Stay up there on your couch while you lay next to your girlfriend? After what we just did?" Tears stung his eyes. He suddenly felt dirty. He felt used. "Are you going to go up there and fuck her now?" He shrugged Chanyeol's hand off his arm and stalked towards the stairs again. He wanted to go home. He wanted to shower and be alone.

For the second time Chanyeol panicked. For the second time Baekhyun was going to walk away from him. He chased after him and blocked the stairs. "Baek. I don't know what's happening here. I'm confused about a lot of things right now. Just give me some time." His heart pounded.

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.

He couldn't let him be angry. Chanyeol leaned down and cupped Baekhyun's cheek. "Please." His eyes begged and pleaded. "Please don't walk away. I'll work this out." Chanyeol didn't know what he was going to do but he did know that he couldn't lose this man who had come into his life by accident and changed everything. He did the only thing he could think of. He kissed him again. It worked. Baekhyun's anger melted into heated passion as their hands grabbed for each other again.

As they pulled apart Chanyeol realised he didn't want to take Baekhyun home. He wanted to take him into his bedroom and lay next to him all night. He wanted to wake up together in the morning, drink coffee on the deck, swim in the waves. He would make it a reality. He just needed time. "Come on. I'll drive you home." Baekhyun smiled at him. It was still soft and sad but Chanyeol had kissed away the tiny man's fire. They walked up the stairs in silence.

Chanyeol leaned over the seat and kissed Baekhyun again. They had been in the car parked outside Baekhyun's apartment for 20 minutes and he still wasn't ready to say goodbye. "I'll end it." He kissed Baekhyun deeper than last time. He kissed him until he thought he might kiss him into pieces. "I'll end it with Tiffany. She's not stupid. She's probably already knows something is going on." When they had headed up the stairs and into Chanyeol's house Tiffany was not in the living area. He didn't look for her. He just left. Now he never wanted to go back. He desperately hoped that if they sat here a little longer, kissed a little more, Baekhyun would ask him to come up to his tiny apartment.

Baekhyun wasn't so easily swayed. He needed to take back control. He found his inner strength and turned his face away from Chanyeol's relentless attention. "Chanyeol stop. Please." He sighed deeply and sadly. "It feels wrong." He opened the car door and turned back to Chanyeol. "You can text me when you're single. I won't be the third wheel." Chanyeol's eyes burned bright with emotion. "If I leave her then we can be together?" Baekhyun stepped out of the car. "I can't make promises based on 'what ifs' Chanyeol." He closed the car door and was gone.

When Chanyeol got home Tiffany was asleep. He could see her face in the dim light of his bedroom. He knew he had to end it. It was over as soon as Baekhyun ran into him, spilling his coffee and the paintbrushes, and pieces of Chanyeol's life everywhere. He laid next to her and felt nothing. A hush had cast over his chest, no longer comforting or normal, now he just felt empty.

Chanyeol's heart didn't beat. It was silent.

The next morning Chanyeol work up feeling terrible. He blamed the poison of the margaritas, the dinner of nachos, even the cold dampness of the sand. But when he emerged from his cocoon of warm blankets he found a quietly angry Tiffany waiting for him on the deck with eyes ablaze. She was holding something in her hand and as Chanyeol approached her she threw it at him in anger. "Your _friend_ left his necklace behind last night." Chanyeol took a deep breath and sighed. This was not going to go well.

 

The choker crashed into the glass behind him and Chanyeol's world crashed down around him. Tiffany was vacillating between angry and distraught. "A year! You're throwing away a whole year on that man. That messy, cheap, untidy man?" She stormed around his house, collecting the few items that belonged to her. It wasn't much. Chanyeol realised her presence in his life was minimal.

He was only worried about minimising any hurt on Baekhyun. "He's not untidy. Or any of the other things your friend told you." He hated hearing it when Baekhyun wasn't here to defend himself. "He's wonderful." Chanyeol broke down. She had to know the truth. "He makes my heart beat. I'm sorry Tiffany. I took him to the clinic with me and Dr Yoo doesn't know why." He sank into the couch in tears. The last few weeks had been so overwhelming. Tiffany just stared at him. "Really?" Her voice was small and unconvinced. She didn't know what to believe. She was used to his unusual condition. She had laid her head on his silent chest many times in the last year. Jealously bubbled inside her. Why him? She had been with Chanyeol for a year and he was choosing this small, messy looking man who wore too much makeup over her? A man?

She got up and grabbed the last of her things and threw them into a large tote. She turned to Chanyeol and threw one last cut. "Now I have to go explain to Jessica that her boyfriend dumped her so he can suck your dick. You make me sick."

She was gone.

The house was silent.

Chanyeol's chest was silent.

He couldn't think of anything but running down the stairs to the waves. So he did. He dived head first into the cold salt and felt it envelope his body. It washed over his head, icy and more cutting than Tiffany's parting words, but it was refreshing and he felt so free.

He was free.

He still wasn't feeling well so he dragged his huge body out of the waves and up the stairs again. His legs felt like they were made of lead. No more tequila. Ever.

He poured coffee and looked at his phone with expectation but there was no message. He really had his hopes up but then he remembered Baekhyun's words.

_"You can text me when you're single. I won't be the third wheel."_

The ball was in Chanyeol's court. His hands shook as he began to type out the text.   


Baekhyun woke up feeling slightly hungover, slightly cheap, but also giddy with happiness. It hurt him to leave Chanyeol hanging last night. The more the man kissed him the closer he got to giving in and bringing him up to his apartment. But he had stayed strong. He had maintained control and went to his bed alone and cold.

He grabbed his phone. It was 11:22am and he had messages. From Jessica.

**_Today 8:22am_** **_From: Jessica_** **_You dumped me for a guy what the fuck baekhyun_**

**_Today 8:26am_** **_From: Jessica_** **_Seriously baekhyun you're such a fucking loser_**

**_Today 8:27am_** **_From: Jessica_** **_?????_**

**_Today 8:41am_** **_From: Jessica_** **_You're so embarrassing. Tiffany's spitting it. He dumped her. You ruined my friend's relationship Baekhyun you're a disgrace_**

**_Today 8:44am_** **_From: Jessica_** **_Have fun sucking his dick Baekhyun you fucking homo_**

Baekhyun scrolled through his contacts, selected Jessica's number, and blocked her. Then the reality of her scathing comments set in. Chanyeol broke up with her.

There was a message from him. Baekhyun's heart pounded as he opened it.

**_Today 10:22am_** **_From: Chanyeol_** **_Baekhyun I don't know what to say. I just wanted you to know that it's over with Tiffany and I'd really like to see you soon please let me know when you're free_**

**_Today 10:26am_** **_From: Chanyeol_** **_We can go to the beach???_**

Baekhyun felt butterflies. He did it. He really broke up with her. _Don't get carried away Baekhyun._ He told himself. But as he rolled over in his bed and giggled to himself, quickly writing a reply, he knew in his heart it was too late. He was already carried away, imagining himself wrapped up in strong arms, waves crashing in the background.

Chanyeol showered and dressed and paced the floor waiting for a reply. A response. Any acknowledgement.

_Maybe he hates me_

_Maybe I scared him_

_Maybe I went too far_

_Maybe he doesn't feel the same way_

_Maybe he just likes to sleep in_

He made another coffee and took it out to the deck. He strummed his guitar lazily, working through some chords, lyrics falling softly into his mind like Sakura blossoms letting go of their branches.

Suddenly his phone vibrated and he almost threw his guitar down to dive for it.

**_Today 11:31am_** **_From: Baekhyun_** **_I'd love another day at the beach_**

Chanyeol jumped up and grabbed his keys. He would text him from the car. All he could think about was getting Baekhyun to his house, in his company and presence, and in his arms.

His heart fluttered and energy coursed through his whole body.

**_Today 11:34am_** **_To: Baekhyun_** **_I'm coming to get you. Be ready in twenty minutes._**  


20 minutes later and they were together. Baekhyun climbed into the passenger seat of Chanyeol's car, passing over a big bag, a few canvases and his ever-present leather bag of paintbrushes. Chanyeol's laughter rang in his ears. "Are you planning on moving in?" Baekhyun laughed too. "Come on. I told you I never get to go to the beach. I'm not wasting this opportunity."

Chanyeol's heart was pounding its soft and steady rhythm.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol thought Baekhyun might be spending more time at the beach in the future.

The car sped up the cliff. Baekhyun's excitement increased again, his eyes drank in the view, he could see the water and the cliff. And the most beautiful view, Chanyeol's hands gripping the wheel, his hair blowing softly in the breeze of the open window.

He really was breathtaking to Baekhyun. His eyes were soulful and his jaw was strong. His nose was perfect and his lips were full and soft and magnetic. His ears were big and stuck out just enough to be adorable. Baekhyun stared at them as he lost himself in Chanyeol. He was shaken from his thoughts when he realised they had arrived.

"What do you want to do?" Chanyeol asked as the alighted from the vehicle, Chanyeol carrying the assortment of canvases from the car, the smaller grabbing his bags. As soon as Chanyeol put the canvases down inside Baekhyun fell into his arms. Chanyeol breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of cherries from the top of Baekhyun's head. His hair always smelled so good. He had his answer as their lips crashed together, suddenly frenzied, surprisingly desperate.

"I just want to be with you Chanyeol." Baekhyun's voice was muffled into the tall man's chest.

Chanyeol's heart pounded hard and fast as he pulled Baekhyun towards his bedroom. He wanted to be with him too. He wanted to make the beautiful, delicate man his, all his and only his.

 

⚠️ **it's smut** ⚠️

It started slow. Baekhyun's hands found their way inside Chanyeol's shirt as their lips pressed gently against each other. He barely reached the tall man's shoulder and his neck was craned up to meet Chanyeol's kiss. As his hands stroked the bare skin underneath them he felt his arousal growing in intensity. He kissed him harder and more desperately, his tongue pushing itself inside Chanyeol's mouth, his fingertips grasping for anything they could cling to.

Chanyeol couldn't focus on anything but the small man in his arms and the pounding of his heartbeat. All the heavy feelings of this morning had vanished in Baekhyun's presence. All he felt now was joy, exhilaration, and arousal. He was so turned on by Baekhyun, the way he reached up towards him, the desperate way his fingers raked across Chanyeol's back. He pulled him over to the bed, their lips never leaving each other, and he pushed Baekhyun down onto the soft unmade blankets he had reluctantly shared with Tiffany just hours before.

This was different. This was intense, passionate and frenzied, and wild. Chanyeol felt so wild. Something overtook him and he began to search Baekhyun's mouth with his tongue, his hips beginning to grind as Baekhyun moaned his approval into Chanyeol's mouth.

He grasped desperately at Baekhyun's hair and pulled gently, his hands wandered down to his shirt which Chanyeol wanted to tear from his body, his hands had taken on a mind of their own. Life coursed through Chanyeol's veins as he kissed and thrust and moaned. He hadn't been this hard since he was in high school.

Chanyeol suddenly sat up and back on his heels, his legs straddling Baekhyun's sinful hips, and he stared thoughtfully at the small man at his mercy. He reached down with one huge hand and caressed Baekhyun's cheek. "Perfect." Was the only word that escaped. He unbuttoned Baekhyun's shirt and spread it open, revealing the man's upper body, milky white and bare.

The night before, on the sand and under the moon, they had been hurried. Messy fumbles in the dark were replaced with a soft slow caress in the bright light of day. Chanyeol's hands ran up and down Baekhyun's chest, lingering over the pink buds that were stiffening in response, his eyes hungry to take it all in. He dipped his head and slowly tasted Baekhyun's perfect pink lips, his milky white neck, his hard rosy nipples. It was all deliciously intoxicating.

He stroked Baekhyun's stomach and fumbled nervously with his pants. He didn't even know what he was going to do when he removed them. His brain couldn't think that far ahead. He was lost in the moment, his mind a fog of lust and arousal, and his heart pounding steadily in the background. He was running purely on lust and instinct.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol felt incredible.   


Baekhyun closed his eyes and allowed the other man to overtake his body. Every part of him was buzzing with anticipation, every touch of Chanyeol's hands was electrifying, everywhere Chanyeol's mouth went goosebumps followed. He was hard, painfully hard inside his briefs, his dick was hot and throbbing trapped inside its prison made of soft cotton.

He felt large hands fumbling with his pants zip and he lifted his hips off the bed and assisted Chanyeol to remove them. As they were cast aside, and Baekhyun's eyes clenched shut, he felt the cool air hit his erection and then a warm wet mouth. His hips bucked off the bed involuntarily, his mouth moaned instinctively, his whole body felt like it was on fire. Pleasure shot through him up the inside of his groin, through his stomach and up to his chest where his own heart was pounding heavier than it ever had before. "Uuhhhhnnnnn...." was the only noise he could make and it groaned out of somewhere deep inside his chest, as his hips bucked and rolled, and a new sensation overtook him. A sense of emptiness. He wanted more. He wanted to feel Chanyeol inside him.

Chanyeol was enraptured with the moaning sweaty mess Baekhyun had become under his touch. He stopped sucking and sat back for another look at the smaller man underneath him. His damp hair was rumpled and his chest glistened with sweat. His cheeks matched the pink of his lips. It was the most beautiful vision Chanyeol had ever witnessed. "Fuck." He whispered, low and husky, as his swollen erection pulsed in his boxers. "You're so beautiful." He needed to relive the pressure. He swiftly dropped his pants and boxers and the two men were both naked in the daylight, limbs tangled, Chanyeol's mouth nipping at the soft skin behind Baekhyun's ear. He left a mark, another shade of pink to add, and smiled at his work.

Desire swamped his senses and an urge overtook him. He needed Baekhyun, he needed all of him, he needed to feel him from the inside. "Baek." He whispered as his body pushed his erection hard against the smaller man's thighs. "Baek I want you. I need to be inside you. Please..."

Baekhyun's eyes were still clenched shut but when he heard Chanyeol's strong words of desire he opened them. He stared into the big chocolate brown irises, seeing lust and desperation and something else he couldn't quite pick, and nodded. He reached down to grasp Chanyeol's dick and was shocked when his slim hand could barely wrap around it. "You're huge." He whispered into Chanyeol's ear as he began to thrust and grind his erection into Baekhyun's hand.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Chanyeol was suddenly concerned. Baekhyun wasn't. His voice came out as a desperate whine as he pulled Chanyeol closer into his body. "Yes. Please. I'm not made of glass Chanyeol. You won't break me." He gripped the hard muscles in Chanyeol's ass cheeks, dug in his nails hard, making the man groan and thrust against his hand again.

Chanyeol mentally panicked. He wasn't prepared. He had never been with another man but he wasn't stupid. He knew there were things they needed. "I'll be back." He said as he jumped up and ran into the bathroom. He rummaged through drawers and cupboards and found something at last in the back of the medicine cupboard. A crumpled up box, he upended it and a few small packets fell out. A few condoms and a sachet of lube. _Yes_. He was relieved, and tossed the condoms back into the cupboard, and ran back to the confused and waiting Baekhyun on his bed. "Oh." Was all Baekhyun said when he saw the lube. His face had blushed from rose pink to firey red but Chanyeol crawled back on top of him and kissed his embarrassment away.

Baekhyun had clenched his eyes closed again, his legs were splayed wide open, and he was shocked by his own lewd self. He pulled his knees up higher, opening himself up to whatever Chanyeol desired from him, and his eyes flew open in surprise as he felt Chanyeol's wet tongue against his hole. It circled and teased before Chanyeol's big hands pulled his cheeks open even wider. As Chanyeol's tongue probed, forcing its way against the tightly clenched ring of muscle, Baekhyun lost control. He moaned and twisted, his whole body twitched and shook with pleasure, he had no idea this was going to happen. It felt so good. His hips rolled as Chanyeol's mouth licked, and sucked, and tasted. The empty feeling was overwhelming all his senses. "More." He gasped desperately, whining and pushing back against Chanyeol's face. "More. I need more."

His hands gripped the sheets tightly as he heard the tearing of a packet. He gasped as cold lube ran down his ass crack and one large finger probed at his wet hole. He felt it force its way inside and his toes curled up at the feeling of Chanyeol's finger fucking him slowly. "More." He whined. Another finger joined the first and it burned. Tears stung Baekhyun's eyes but his body responded to the pleasure filled pain. As he pushed back against Chanyeol's fingers, he moaned breathlessly, his head rolled back in ecstasy. "More."

Chanyeol couldn't wait. He grabbed his hard dick and rubbed the head against Baekhyun's lubed hole. "Are you sure?" He asked and as soon as Baekhyun nodded his readiness he pushed it in. Slowly, just the tip, as Baekhyun's breathing hitched and tears rolled out of his eyes. Shit. "Sorry. I'm sorry Baek." He tried to move away but Baekhyun grabbed him and held him tightly. "No. Don't stop." His breathing was heavy and laboured but he pulled Chanyeol closer and as he took a deep breath he pushed hard and buried his whole length deep inside Baekhyun.

Everything went white as pleasure pulsed through his entire body. "Fuck. You're so tight Baekhyun. You're so tight it feels incredible." They laid still, Chanyeol not daring a thrust, their lips locking in a slow burning passion. Soon Baekhyun moved, beginning to roll his hips, gripping Chanyeol's hips with his thin delicate fingers. "More. Please." Baekhyun whined again. "I'm ready."

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol take a deep breath. He pulled his length out slowly almost to the head before thrusting back in. Baekhyun was taken over by this new sensation, a feeling of fullness and content, and pleasure outweighing the pain. He moaned loudly and rocked his hips and he felt Chanyeol speed up and find his rhythm. He reached down and began to stroke his own erection in time with Chanyeol's thrusts and soon he was on the edge.

Chanyeol found a rhythm in time with the now familiar heartbeat in his chest. As his heart thundered its insistent instruction he thrust his body against the smaller man. It felt so good inside him. It felt tight, and warm, and so sensual. Every nerve ending in his body was switched on. It felt so good. It felt so right. This was they way it was supposed to feel with a beat pounding in your chest and life flooding through your veins. He felt the sweet relief of Baekhyun arching stiffly under him and then ejaculating between them with a loud cry of ecstasy. He knew he could let go. His rhythm increased and his heart kept time, he thrust and pounded, and rode Baekhyun's body until he came inside him, calling his name, moaning uncontrollably into Baekhyun's neck.

As they collapsed, exhausted but satisfied, Chanyeol pulling Baekhyun into his arms.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

His heartbeat slowed but didn't stop. He was glad. This was right. This was what it was supposed to feel like.

He stroked Baekhyun's hair as he clutched the small man tightly against his chest. He felt Baekhyun's breathing slow, he was asleep, his body completely spent. Chanyeol pressed his lips into the back of his head, finding the faint scent of cherries, inhaling as deeply as he could. When he was sure Baekhyun was asleep he whispered, almost inaudibly, more to himself than to the sleeping man in his arms. "Somethings happening to me Baekhyun. I think I'm falling for you real quick."

 

Baekhyun woke up confused. For about three seconds he wondered where he was. Then he remembered. Late afternoon sun streamed in an open window and he could hear the waves crashing below. He could smell coffee. He was alone.

He sat and then tried to stand. Pain shot through his body. He stumbled back onto the bed. He was naked and in need of a shower. And a few painkillers. Where was Chanyeol? He wanted help, he never thought he would wake up alone in Chanyeol's bed, broken and dirty. He never thought Chanyeol would just leave him like this, after what they did, things so intimate Baekhyun flushed at the thought. He couldn't believe the way Chanyeol made him behave, the other man was like a drug, he was intoxicating and mesmerising, and it was like he put Baekhyun under some kind of spell. He did things with Chanyeol in his bed that he would have never dreamed possible.

He took a deep breath and prepared himself to move. He thought about calling out to Chanyeol for help but he felt stupid. He could see the bathroom off the bedroom. If he could just get in there he would shower and feel better and get his shit together. He blinked back his tears, tried again to stand, and then walk. It didn't work.  


Chanyeol had slipped silently out of Baekhyun's sleeping embrace. He didn't want to wake him. They had expelled so much energy, their love was explosive, and Baekhyun clearly needed to rest.

Chanyeol didn't. He felt more energetic than he had ever before, like he had pure Red Bull coursing through his veins, like the air in the room was pure oxygen. He didn't want to shower the feeling of Baekhyun off his skin. He just pulled on a pair of track pants to cover his nakedness and turned back to take in the view. Baekhyun in his bed, limbs askew, barely covered by a sheet. His body was sinful, his face that of an angel, the rhythm of his sleeping breath music to Chanyeol's ears.

Chanyeol felt his heart beat in time with Baekhyun's steady breathing.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

He leaned over and stroked a stray hair back from his forehead. Baekhyun took Chanyeol's breath away. He hoped he wouldn't leave. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. He slipped a hand under the sheet and tentatively placed it on Baekhyun's chest. The steady beat, the slow rise and fall, they matched each other in perfect synchronicity. Chanyeol smiled and quickly pulled his hand away before he disturbed him.

As he watched him sleep he thought of all the things his tired body might need when it woke. Coffee. Bath. Food. Water. Painkillers. Chanyeol started making a mental list, he jumped off the edge of the bed and rushed into the kitchen, he didn't know how much time he had.

He put the coffee on to brew and found the hazelnut syrup. He guessed that Baekhyun might have a sweet tooth and searched for anything he had that might be right. Before he knew what was happening he had French toast frying, powdered sugar and maple syrup, cut strawberries, and a huge mess. He heard a crash in the bedroom and ran in to find Baekhyun gripping the dresser. He had, luckily, knocked Chanyeol's assortment of toiletries off the dresser making a noise. His legs were bowed and his face was twisted in pain. "Oh my god, Baek, why didn't you call out to me?" He did this to him. He felt awful.

Baekhyun was never happier to see anyone in his life. He couldn't stand and he wanted help. When Chanyeol ran in and scooped him up like a baby everything was fine again. Chanyeol put him back on the bed. "Wait here." Chanyeol disappeared and came back with two pills and a glass of water. He offers them to Baekhyun who didn't even question him. He took the pills as Chanyeol ran the bath full of hot water. Chanyeol asked him again. "Why didn't you call out to me?" A million answers ran through Baekhyun's mind as Chanyeol's eyes searched his face for the truth.

_I didn't want to bother you_

_I didn't expect you to come_

_I don't want to be a burden_

_I'm not incapable of taking care of myself_

He answered with honesty. "I should have. I will next time." He smiled at Chanyeol and when the strong handsome man smiled back at him he felt his emotional walls begin to crumble.

When Baekhyun was bathed and dressed he felt a lot better. He also felt bad for thinking Chanyeol had abandoned him in the bed when the hot coffee and sweet treats were placed in front of him. Baekhyun would have to stop expecting the worst if he was going to make this work. Could he begin to expect the best? Could he relax and expect this man, this tall and funny and beautiful man, to keep it up? Would it always be this way?

He poked at his food absentmindedly and took a bite. It was delicious. Everything Chanyeol did was perfect. He relaxed and began to eat and when he looked up Chanyeol's eyes were following his every move.   


Chanyeol couldn't tear his eyes away. What was it about Baekhyun that had him so entranced? Truly, in Chanyeol's mind, the honest answer was 'everything'. His chin rested in his hand as he sat contentedly watching Baekhyun eat his food. He watched Baekhyun aim the smallest of bites into his mouth, his petal pink lips now slightly swollen, his eyes squinting closed as he chewed. Chanyeol felt a stirring in his groin as Baekhyun sighed with delight at the taste of the food Chanyeol had cooked him.

Baekhyun chewed his food and couldn't help but make little yummy noises. Beats cup ramen any day. He opened his eyes and caught Chanyeol watching him eat. "Hey!" He laughed and cut another bite. "Don't watch me like that!" He looked down, suddenly shy, but Chanyeol just laughed and moved next to him. "I like watching you." Chanyeol whispered into his ear as Baekhyun chewed and swallowed. Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun's neck, wrapping his arms around the other, pulling him closer again.

Baekhyun stopped eating and turned to face Chanyeol. "Yeol, why are you so good to me?" Chanyeol sighed. He wished the small man in his arms could see himself the way Chanyeol saw him. Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun's hand and held it against his chest. "Feel why." He held Baekhyun's hand there and let it feel the steady rhythm and the soft rise and fall. He took Baekhyun's hand in his and squeezed it tight. "That's why. I don't know why it's you Baekhyun. But it's you. Only you."

Baekhyun climbed into Chanyeol's lap, his food abandoned, his hands in Chanyeol's hair as they kissed. His brain knew he was still sore but his body had inconveniently forgotten. As Chanyeol deepened their kiss and moved his hands to caress Baekhyun's lower back the smaller man on top felt his hips want to thrust. He broke their kiss in a gasp for air before he got carried away. He cupped Chanyeol's cheeks with both hands and gave a soft smile that made Chanyeol feel like heaven. "I'm glad it's me." Baekhyun said as Chanyeol clashed their lips again. "Then stay with me. Please don't leave. I want to sleep next to you Baekhyun. Can you spend tonight in my arms?" Baekhyun just nodded. He couldn't think of anything he wanted more.

 

Chanyeol fussed around in the kitchen, finding the things he needed, distracted by the sight of Baekhyun out on the deck. The sun was setting on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and they had been luxuriating in each other's constant company for over 24 hours.

He had experienced the magic of his first nights sleep with Baekhyun's tiny body curled against his and his heart pounding away in the darkness. He woke up feeling more alive than ever. They had swam at the beach, drank coffee on the deck, and now Chanyeol was cooking while Baekhyun was immortalising the sunset on a panoramic canvas.

Chanyeol was more interested in watching Baekhyun paint than chopping the vegetables in front of him. He was amazed at the talent that poured out of him. He thought sadly about all the things he remembered Baekhyun saying about himself. And the things others had said about him.

_"My girlfriend wants me to quit and take a job at her Dad's company."_

_"I'm not special. I'm a fuck up. And a disaster."_

_"I'm such a loser."_

_"Jessica always went on about what a loser he was. With his art which never paid the bills, sitting home in his tiny crappy apartment eating cup noodles, working in his friend's coffee shop for free."_

Did he really believe all those things that had been said to him and about him? It hurt Chanyeol's heart, still taking its baby steps inside his chest, when he thought about people saying those things. He would tell him a million times how amazing he was, if that's what it took, to make this man see who he truly was.

Baekhyun turned around and squinted towards the sunset. When he caught Chanyeol watching he turned to wave, his elbow catching the edge of the canvas, almost sending two hours of work crashing to the ground. He smiled shyly as he just saved it and put it back upright on the bar stool he was using as an improvised easel.

_Definitely special_. Chanyeol thought as he laughed quietly to himself. _Definitely not a fuck up. Kind of a disaster._

Baekhyun was intent on getting the light just right and the sun was fading fast. He furrowed his brow in deep concentration. He didn't hear Chanyeol sneak out onto the deck behind him, he didn't hear the barely audible snap of Chanyeol's phone, he didn't hear the footsteps behind him. He did, however, feel the warmth of Chanyeol's embrace as strong arms wrapped around his whole body. He turned his body to face Chanyeol as the taller smiled down at him. "Your painting is beautiful." Chanyeol said quietly. "You're beautiful." Baekhyun mumbled into his chest. He had managed to finish his work just as the last light was fading. He turned his face up to see Chanyeol, who was staring out at the horizon, a small smile playing across his lips. Baekhyun's head was pressed tight against his chest where he was witness to the situation he created, the unusual but not unwelcome development, the event that had changed Chanyeol's life forever.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

It sounded beautiful, magical and wonderful, and frightening. As Baekhyun pressed himself closer worry took over his mind. For so long Chanyeol had been fine. He had been fit and healthy in his own unusual way. Now things had changed.

_What if it's straining his heart?_

_What if it stops while I'm here?_

_What if I'm making him sick? Or worse?_

_What if it's not supposed to beat?_

Baekhyun tried not to think about it as his slim arms wrapped around Chanyeol's waist. "What are you thinking about?" He asked the tall man quietly.

Chanyeol didn't know what he was thinking about. He was just enjoying the moment. Baekhyun was in his arms, the sea was crashing against the bottom of the cliff, his heart was beating a steady song. Things couldn't be any more right. He pulled back from Baekhyun so he could look down on his face. "Nothing." He reluctantly released Baekhyun from his embrace. "Are you hungry?" Baekhyun nodded. One weekend with Chanyeol was all he needed to be impressed by his superior cooking skills. "If I stay here much longer I'll get fat." He laughed as Chanyeol chased him inside, grabbing at his thighs and butt, squealing in mock protest. "Fine by me." Chanyeol laughed again as he caught him near the couch and pulled him close for another kiss.

After they had eaten Chanyeol made coffee and they sat out on the deck. The wind ebbed and flowed in time with the crash of the waves. The smell of salt spray mingled with the smell of the fresh coffee. Baekhyun sat in the seat that Tiffany had found him in just a few nights before. Things had changed so quickly that Baekhyun's mind could barely keep up. Chanyeol had turned his life upside down in just a few short weeks.

Chanyeol strummed at his guitar and hummed in time with the tune. He had written something, a surefire hit, but he didn't know if he would ever be able to sell it. He had written it for Baekhyun. He wanted to sing for him but he was scared. He didn't know why. Baekhyun was so open and free with his creativity. He offered the Sakura to Chanyeol as a gift without any second thought.

Chanyeol took a deep breath. Now or never.

He began to sing without announcement, softly at first, increasing in confidence as he went. The raw chords and crashing waves combined with his deep voice into a choir which took Baekhyun's breath away.

**_Songbird, you got tales to tell_** **_How many times can you describe your living hell?_**

**_The sweeping gesture creates a fuss_** **_It's only useful when receiving praise_** **_Relieving no-ones pain_** **_If you'd let somebody love you just enough_** **_You'd have everything you'd need to break_** **_Free from all your pain_**

**_Songbird, you got tales to tell_** **_How many times can you describe your living hell?_**

**_If you'd let somebody love you just enough_ **

When he was done Baekhyun was crying. His tears were silent, rolling down his cheeks like raindrops down glass, shining on his face in the moonlight. He had no words.

He put his guitar to the side and pulled Baekhyun over onto his chair. "I don't know how soon it too soon to be using big words like love. But things have changed inside me Baekhyun. Please let me love you just enough to make you see how wonderful you are. I need you to see yourself how I see you."

Baekhyun allowed himself to be completely overwhelmed by Chanyeol. He felt like things were rushing along so fast, like his life was out of control, ever since he bumped into this giant and spilled his coffee. He liked it. All his life people had been trying to tell him who to be and what to do. Chanyeol was the first person who wanted him just the way he was.

He gave in. He wanted to let Chanyeol love him. He stood up and took Chanyeol by the hand and led him into the bedroom. He would let Chanyeol love him but just enough.

**_A/N: DISCLAIMER - I absolutely did not write the beautiful song in this chapter. It's one of my favourite songs ever, it's called Songbird by Bernard Fanning. It's incredible._ **

 

Chanyeol woke with a pounding headache. He had taken Baekhyun home late the night before. He had an important meeting early, and Baekhyun made half hearted noises about his own space and needing clean clothes, so after their dinner he took Baekhyun and his sunset canvas to Baekhyun's apartment.

He slept alone. His heart was silent all night and into the next morning. He had a early meeting to work through ideas with the idol group he had agreed to work with and after that he had his regular appointment with Dr Yoo.

He needed something to cheer himself up. He felt unusually flat, like he needed a vitamin or something, he told himself he was just tired. He opened his phone and scrolled through his pictures until he found the one he took of Baekhyun last night. His breathing steadied as he stared at it. Baekhyun's hair blew back from his face in the breeze. His face was half turned towards the camera but his eyes were a million miles away. The pinks and golds of the sunset bathed his face in a natural glow. Chanyeol opened his Instagram, selected the picture, and captioned it #naturalbeauty which was one of Baekhyun's favourites. He tagged him in it and hit share. He felt better and grabbed his work and left for his meeting.

Baekhyun slept late and woke when the sun was already climbing high. He rolled over and put his arm out instinctively but all he found was empty space. He pouted and sat up. His hair stuck up in its usual morning way. He reluctantly escaped his warm bed and made his way into the kitchen for instant coffee. A deep sigh escaped as he wished it was Chanyeol's delicious aromatic brew, accompanied by a side of French toast or pancakes, and wished he had just stayed another night.

As he looked out onto the street below he mulled over why he didn't. Things were moving very fast. They weren't supposed to be moving this fast. No matter how good or right it felt. He sighed again and picked up his phone. When he opened his Instagram his heart skipped a beat. The picture Chanyeol had taken of him was spectacular. Is this really what I look like through his eyes? Chanyeol seemed to have no such fears about moving so quickly. Or about showing how close they were to his 390 thousand followers. Chanyeol had everything to lose. Baekhyun had nothing. Why was he the one who was scared?

He picked up his phone and sent a quick text to Chanyeol asking if they could meet at the cafe later. He knew he would be at the hospital as he was every Monday. After showering and dressing Baekhyun packed up his brushes, picked up a few small canvases, and headed out the door to the park.   


Chanyeol had trouble concentrating during his meeting but it was productive. His body felt like it was still nursing a hangover but Baekhyun had turned on some hidden creative switch inside his mind and Chanyeol had more ideas than ever. He left feeling good and headed for the hospital.

His shirt was off, the machines were all hooked up, and Dr Yoo asked the same questions he usually did. "How have you been feeling?" "Fine. A bit flat actually." Chanyeol answered. Dr Yoo checked a few of the machines. "Your oxygen is a little low. I'll need to take some blood." He removed the monitors and tubes and Chanyeol put his shirt on. "How is the situation with your friend?" Dr Yoo asked as the needle plunged into his thick forearm vein. "Same. Heart beats when he's with me. Stops when he's not." Chanyeol winced as the needle withdrew. He watched a drop of dark red blood pool on his arm before Dr Yoo swabbed it away.

"Make sure you rest. You may just be a little run down or you might be getting the flu." Dr Yoo said as Chanyeol prepared to leave. "I'll call you with the results from the bloods in a few days. Let me know if you start to feel worse." Chanyeol smiled. He couldn't wait to leave and get to the cafe. "Thanks Dr Yoo. See you next week."

Baekhyun shifted a few times at the park, searching for inspiration, not finding it in the pinks and lavenders and greens of the flora. He abandoned his pallet he had mixed and laid on his back. The clouds rushed overhead and the blues and greys and whites felt better on his eyes. They felt more at home. They reminded him of the beach. He looked at his watch and knew Chanyeol would be finishing up at the heart clinic soon. He gathered his things and headed for the cafe to order two tall hazelnut lattes.

The new and busier familiarity of the cafe greeted him when he pushed the door open. He looked around for Minseok and was surprised to see another man behind the counter. "Where's Minseok?" He asked the man. He was a little taller than Minseok with short blond hair and a big smile. "HEY MINSEOK!" He shouted and Minseok came out from the kitchen. "Baekhyun! I see you have met my new employee Jongdae." Baekhyun headed for a table and Minseok followed him with coffee.

"Where did you find that guy?" Baekhyun asked with a chuckle. "I put a sign up in the window and he applied straight away. He's loud but the customers like him." Minseok smiled. "Anyway. What about you and your 'non boyfriend' Chanyeol. You've been missing all weekend." Baekhyun related the events of the weekend to his friend who sat and listened quietly and intently. "Geez Baek. You really go all in don't you." Baekhyun shook his head and stared at his spoon as he stirred his coffee. "I'm crazy about him. I've never met anyone like him." He sighed deeply and sat back, pushing his hair back from his face. "Minseok, I'm really worried. I'm worried that he's too good to be true. I'm scared." He rubbed his eyes as he squinted them shut. "I'm worried that I'm killing him. Even his doctor said it's unknown what effect this is having on him. But whenever he's around I can't think straight." Baekhyun stopped rubbing his eyes and sipped his coffee.

Minseok considered his words carefully. "What makes you think this is bad for him?" Baekhyun shook his head. "I don't know. It's just the fact that his life was fine until he met me. Now his life is chaos. Everything I touch turns to shit." Minseok just laughed at him. "Stop being such a miserable brat Baekhyun." He indicated the sunset canvas leaning against the wall. "You touched that and it's beautiful." Baekhyun blushed. He knew his friend was right. "Yeah. That ones pretty good. Can I sell it here?" Minseok nodded. "Seriously Baekhyun. I know Jessica really messed with your confidence towards the end. But you need to chill and give yourself a chance." A mischievous glint appeared in his eye. "So." Minseok began. He was dying to know. "Did you guys, you know....." Baekhyun was confused but soon laughed quietly. "Yeah." He said softly. "And how was it?" Minseok asked. Baekhyun looked around before answering. "Minseok, it was amazing!" Minseok smirked at Baekhyun. He was smitten and he didn't even realise it. He grinned to himself as the bell on the door rang and he saw Baekhyun's enamoured gaze fall over the customer entering and got up to pour the hazelnut lattes.

As soon as the door opened Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was waiting for him.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

It began almost instantaneously.

Adrenaline rushed through his body and butterflies flipped in his stomach. His eyes scanned the room and settled on a small man seated in the back corner looking expectantly. He waved as he crossed the cafe and slid into the empty seat. "Hey." Baekhyun smiled shyly at him, looking down at his hands, then back up to meet Chanyeol's gaze. "Hi. I missed you today." Chanyeol's voice was heavy with joy and relief. His eyes flicked around but no one was watching. He leaned over and kissed Baekhyun on the cheek. Baekhyun blushed from the tops of his ears all the way down. Maybe Minseok was right. Maybe he needed to relax and give himself a chance at happiness.

 

Baekhyun knew he wasn't going home as soon as he saw Chanyeol. They drank their coffees, both pretending not to rush, both desperate to get out of the coffee shop. The sun was sinking quickly, now the Sakura has fallen the days would get shorter, and their need to be together was overwhelming. They could both feel it in the air surrounding them.

Chanyeol didn't even have to ask. They finished up and Baekhyun grabbed his brushes and canvas. He blushed as Minseok threw a knowing wink his way as he followed the tall man out the door towards his car. As they drove they sank into easy conversation. "Your appointment was late today?" Baekhyun asked, more a generalisation than a question, not expecting the answer. "Yeah. Dr Yoo said my oxygen was low. He ran a few extra tests and took some blood." Baekhyun's heart sank. "Are you okay?" His voice shook almost imperceptibly as he asked. Chanyeol groaned internally. He shouldn't have told him. He knew it. "I'm fine." He turned to Baekhyun and flashed his most sunny smile. "He said I might just be getting the flu."

Baekhyun couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in his stomach.

_He's been fine. For 25 years he's been fine._

He furrowed his brow as he stared out the window.

_What if I'm making him sick?_

_What if I'm killing him?_

He lost himself in introspection as Chanyeol's car flew up the cliff towards the house. When they arrived they saw another, more immediate, problem.

Hanging around outside the fence of Chanyeol's house were a few bored looking photographers. Baekhyun had forgotten that Chanyeol was kind of famous. "Chanyeol. Why are they here? You're not famous like that. Are you?" Chanyeol rolled his eyes. "Everyone in showbiz is famous if there's a scandal. Which we must be." They pulled up and stopped the car. Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun. "We have a few options. We can get out and ignore them. We can get out and let them take their photos. Or we can leave and go to your place."

Baekhyun's instinct screamed at him. _Leave. Your place._ But he didn't have any nice coffee or the sound of the waves. His bed was smaller and Chanyeol's was big and soft and his sheets were nicer. And he didn't want to run from who they were. "What do you want to do?" Baekhyun turned him. "It's you they're here for. You're the one with the scandal. Can this hurt your career?" Chanyeol steeled his gaze and squeezed Baekhyun's hand. "Probably. I don't care. Let's just get out."

Chanyeol dropped Baekhyun's hand and got out the car. He went around and opened the door for Baekhyun who had hurriedly fixed his hair and checked his eyeliner. Chanyeol grabbed his hand and Baekhyun let him lead them towards the gate. The photographers jumped up. "Will you make a statement for us?" One called out. "No." Chanyeol said. He led Baekhyun past them and into the gate which closed solidly behind them and locked.

Safely ensconced in the house Baekhyun remembered to breathe. His sinking feeling had returned.

_His career_

_His life_

_His heart_

_Am I destroying everything he has?_

Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun close and inhaled deeply against his hair. It smelled like Baekhyun again. Chanyeol liked it better when they didn't smell the same. He could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage as he squeezed the small man tight against him. He could feel him shaking slightly and when he turned Baekhyun's face up to meet his he saw tears filling his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol couldn't bear a sad Baekhyun. Every tear spilled felt like a knife in his chest. "I'm scared." Baekhyun admitted. "I'm ruining your life. You have everything to lose and you're throwing it all away on nothing." Chanyeol pushed him back and put his hands on his shoulders. As he stared Baekhyun in the eye the steel in his gaze returned. "Don't. Don't ever say you're nothing Baekhyun. I'm not throwing everything away on nothing. I'm trying to hold onto everything I ever wanted."

Baekhyun tried to speak but his mouth was hushed with Chanyeol's lips. His tongue was soon occupied and his hands were searching for Chanyeol's skin to satisfy them. He desperately wanted to believe Chanyeol's words. He melted into his body and lay the tall man lead him into the bedroom.

Baekhyun lay on Chanyeol's bed, naked and relaxed, as he allowed Chanyeol to explore his body. They were still finding their way and Chanyeol was determined to learn every inch on Baekhyun's skin. The places to put his hands, his lips, his tongue to make Baekhyun giggle, moan and scream. Chanyeol used the tip of his tongue on one nipple and then the other. Baekhyun arched underneath him as he enjoyed the sensation. He bit down gently on Baekhyun's hip bone and was rewarded with a giggle as Baekhyun squirmed away. Chanyeol decided that the giggle was his favourite response and gripped Baekhyun's hip bones with his big hands. As he squeezed and tickled Baekhyun squealed and giggled under him. Chanyeol was mesmerised. He was smitten.

He tried to hold him down but he couldn't as the smaller man escaped his grasp. Baekhyun's giggles had turned into pure laughter as he wrestled the huge man down and climbed on top of him. As Baekhyun sat atop Chanyeol's body, legs either side as he straddled his hips, he realised he was happy. Truly happy, not fake happy or forced happy, but genuinely happy. He smiled at Chanyeol, suddenly shy, and ran his hands down the wall of muscle underneath him.

Baekhyun wanted to take the lead. He buried his face in Chanyeol's neck and began to suck gently. He worked his way down his chest and felt his arousal build as Chanyeol responded to every touch. Baekhyun felt strong and powerful as he began to grind his erection against Chanyeol's hard stomach. He leaned forward and buried his fingers in Chanyeol's hair as they kissed and he felt Chanyeol move his hands from his thighs, to his butt cheeks, then the sharp feeling of one finger teasing his hole.

He inhaled sharply but the feeling wasn't unpleasant. As Chanyeol pushed his thick finger inside Baekhyun began to ride it, just a little, enjoying this new feeling of being in control. He closed his eyes and tossed his head back as he allowed his hips to take over. He opened them when he felt empty and saw Chanyeol leaning over to his bedside table. When he saw what Chanyeol was holding he couldn't help but blush.

Chanyeol was prepared this time. He squeezed the bottle of lube onto his hand and resumed his entry into Baekhyun's hole. He worked one finger in and watched Baekhyun's reactions carefully. He was more aroused than ever with this new, dominant and brave, and wanton Baekhyun on top of him. He carefully pushed in a second finger and groaned as Baekhyun began to ride his fingers, their erections grazing against each other, Chanyeol's hot and hard against his stomach.

Baekhyun sucked at Chanyeol's chest as he rode against his fingers. He left little bruises along his collarbone but was careful not to go too far up. As he rolled his hips and breathed out little moans into Chanyeol's neck he realised it wasn't enough. He picked up the lube off the bed and squirted some into his hand. He reached down for Chanyeol's erection and began to stroke it until it was slippery and hard. He guided it with his hand until it was lined up with his hole and as he slowly lowered himself down Chanyeol cried out in pleasure.

Chanyeol couldn't breathe. Every time he was inside Baekhyun it was better than the last. He laid still and allowed the other man to lower himself slowly until his whole length was buried deep inside Baekhyun's body. His heart was pounding harder than it ever had before. He felt so alive and so overwhelmed. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Baekhyun had lit a fire inside him and it was burning out of control.

Baekhyun waited until his body felt like it was accustomed to Chanyeol's huge dick inside it. When he felt ready he began to move, slowly at first, increasing in speed as his confidence grew. As he rode Chanyeol hard he couldn't help but feel satisfaction, and pride, at the effect he had on the man underneath him.

Chanyeol was sweating, moaning and writhing, he was trying to make words but they wouldn't come out. As Baekhyun rode him he gripped his dick with his hand and jerked him off. Chanyeol knew he was close and he couldn't bear to come first. He teased the tip of Baekhyun's dick, rubbing his thumb in the moisture leaking from the slit, then used his huge hand to work the whole length. He was relieved when he felt Baekhyun's speed increase. He matched Baekhyun thrusts with his hand and Baekhyun moaned and rode him faster.

Baekhyun felt wild, he felt sexy and sinful, he let his body take the lead as he rode hard until he came. As Chanyeol jerked him through his orgasm, and he released his hot cum onto Chanyeol's hand, his body finally gave in. Chanyeol pulled him close and flipped them without needing to pull apart. Now he was on top, his tentativeness relieved, Chanyeol allowed himself to push hard against Baekhyun's body. It only took a few more thrusts for Chanyeol to orgasm. He collapsed on top of Baekhyun in spent pleasure and heat. He wrapped the small man tight in his arms and rolled onto his side, taking Baekhyun into his arms in the one swift movement, not wanting to release him. Chanyeol always felt like he needed to cling onto Baekhyun or he might run away.

Baekhyun huddled in Chanyeol's arms, feeling his heart beat inside his chest, wondering how long this could go on. How long could they be happy? He decided that if this beautiful time of pure joy and love had an expiration date then he would just give in and make the most of every movement.

 

The delicate morning light was broken by the blaring of a ringtone. "I thought you were free this morning." Baekhyun mumbled into his pillow. Chanyeol took his phone and wandered out of the bedroom.

Baekhyun closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep. He buried his face in the duck feather pillow and tried to go back in time. But he was awake now and decided to get up. He searched the floor for any item of clothing to cover his naked skin and decided that his boxers and Chanyeol's white button up shirt would be suitable. He rolled the sleeves up and left it unbuttoned and it hung down to his knees. He kind of liked it.

Baekhyun wandered out into the living area to find Chanyeol seated on the couch staring at his phone. "Everything ok?" Baekhyun asked quietly. Chanyeol handed him the phone. It was opened to a major entertainment news website where the lead story was "Award winning music producer caught in sex scandal with unknown man." The picture was of Chanyeol and Baekhyun getting out of Chanyeol's car at the house, hands tightly entwined, and the story went into detail about how Chanyeol had left his girlfriend for another man and had been cheating on her for weeks. Whatever they didn't know they had just made up.

"The idol group fired me. Their manager said they can't be associated with any kind of scandal so early in their career. It's too risky." Baekhyun sighed and sat down next to Chanyeol. "I'm sorry." He said sadly. This was exactly what he was afraid of. Chanyeol just laughed. "Don't be sorry! You haven't done anything wrong. There will be other jobs." He stood up and pulled Baekhyun to his feet. When he realised what he was wearing his jaw dropped. "Baek what are you doing to me?" He breathed out heavily at the sight of Baekhyun, tousled hair and swollen lips, draped in his white shirt. Chanyeol grabbed him and pulled him down onto the couch. He laid him down and leaned over him, pushing the white shirt open to expose Baekhyun's chest, and as Chanyeol's mouth met with his sweet vanilla skin the rest of the world vanished.   


Chanyeol showered and dressed in a casual button up and trousers. He had a meeting after lunch with a solo artist, well established but looking to go in a new direction, and they hadn't cancelled yet. So he fixed his hair and grabbed his work and headed out the door. He begged Baekhyun to stay, to relax and swim or paint, he wanted Baekhyun to be waiting for him when he got home. Baekhyun conceded and watched Chanyeol get ready. He would stay and wait for him today.

Once Chanyeol was gone Baekhyun felt suddenly uncomfortable. It was weird being alone in someone else's house. Baekhyun wandered around, trying to get used to it, feeling out of place. He inspected the coffee machine and decided it looked too complicated. He didn't like to watch tv, he couldn't just walk to the cafe or the park, in fact he couldn't go anywhere. The house was miles away from anything. The only place he could go was the beach. Baekhyun found some shorts and headed down the stairs, canvas under his arm, landing softly on the sand at the bottom.

Chanyeol was struggling. His focus during the meeting wandered and wavered. He felt awful. His head was pounding and his legs felt like lead. He just wanted it to be over. His ideas though, as per usual, were perfect. A shake of the hand and a contract was placed on the table. He went to sign it, reluctantly, then broached the unspoken subject hanging over his head. "I'm hoping you've already seen the news this morning?" The contract was still signed. Chanyeol couldn't wait to tell Baekhyun.

He moved with difficulty, like he was underwater, through the rest of the day. The drive up the winding cliff seemed to take forever. All he could think about was getting back to Baekhyun. He finally parked his car and rushed into the house to find it silent. He stood in the empty house and listened. Silence. Where was he? He promised he would be there, waiting for Chanyeol's return, he wouldn't leave if he promised.

Chanyeol walked out on to the deck and breathed a sigh of relief.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

He was here. Somewhere. And then Chanyeol knew.

He tossed his shoes off onto the deck and ran for the stairs. As they wound down the cliff face Chanyeol spotted him on the sand. Dressed in nothing but a pair of Chanyeol's shorts, canvas and brushes and paints discarded recklessly on the beach around him. He wasn't painting. He was just sitting and watching the waves. As the wind whipped his hair back from his face he turned and saw Chanyeol on the stairs. The smile breaking across his face was comparable to the sun bursting through clouds. Joy radiated from Baekhyun when he saw Chanyeol rushing towards him.

All Baekhyun's uncomfortable feelings from the house had been washed away on the beach. The beach belonged to everyone and no one. Baekhyun had swam and painted and even made a sandcastle. Loneliness had just begun to set in and as he was once again pondering his isolation when he saw Chanyeol running down the stairs towards him. He jumped up and ran towards him and let the tall man scoop him up into his arms. As he swung him around Baekhyun began to laugh. "Put me down." He pushed away but in vain. "I'm not a child." Chanyeol laughed. "Then why are you giggling like one?"

The night air out on the deck was cool but Baekhyun was warm. Chanyeol had wrapped him in and blanket and laughed. "You're a Baek burrito." He said as he kissed Baekhyun lips softly and ruffled his hair. Baekhyun didn't know if it was the blanket or Chanyeol's words that made him warm all over. Once again Chanyeol cooked for him, and sang for him, and took him to bed and loved him. And Baekhyun loved him back.

But in the morning when Chanyeol had meetings Baekhyun asked to be taken home. He couldn't stand another day of being trapped at the beach. "Meet me at the coffee shop when you're done working." Baekhyun whispered as he absentmindedly played with Chanyeol's ear. "Work hard today." He pecked Chanyeol's lips and jumped out the car without looking back.

Chanyeol watched him walk away until he disappeared. He wanted to ask him to move in, to come and live in his beach house, but he knew it would be futile. The tiny enigma that was Baekhyun would never allow himself to be isolated like that and Chanyeol couldn't blame him. He took a deep breath as he felt the now familiar hush, the silence and still, as it washed through his chest and over his body.

The car roared into life as Chanyeol turned the key and headed for his meeting. He had a lot of work to get through today and all he could think about was counting the minutes until he could hold Baekhyun in his arms again.

 

The delicate morning light was broken by the blaring of a ringtone. "I thought you were free this morning." Baekhyun mumbled into his pillow. Chanyeol took his phone and wandered out of the bedroom.

Baekhyun closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep. He buried his face in the duck feather pillow and tried to go back in time. But he was awake now and decided to get up. He searched the floor for any item of clothing to cover his naked skin and decided that his boxers and Chanyeol's white button up shirt would be suitable. He rolled the sleeves up and left it unbuttoned and it hung down to his knees. He kind of liked it.

Baekhyun wandered out into the living area to find Chanyeol seated on the couch staring at his phone. "Everything ok?" Baekhyun asked quietly. Chanyeol handed him the phone. It was opened to a major entertainment news website where the lead story was "Award winning music producer caught in sex scandal with unknown man." The picture was of Chanyeol and Baekhyun getting out of Chanyeol's car at the house, hands tightly entwined, and the story went into detail about how Chanyeol had left his girlfriend for another man and had been cheating on her for weeks. Whatever they didn't know they had just made up.

"The idol group fired me. Their manager said they can't be associated with any kind of scandal so early in their career. It's too risky." Baekhyun sighed and sat down next to Chanyeol. "I'm sorry." He said sadly. This was exactly what he was afraid of. Chanyeol just laughed. "Don't be sorry! You haven't done anything wrong. There will be other jobs." He stood up and pulled Baekhyun to his feet. When he realised what he was wearing his jaw dropped. "Baek what are you doing to me?" He breathed out heavily at the sight of Baekhyun, tousled hair and swollen lips, draped in his white shirt. Chanyeol grabbed him and pulled him down onto the couch. He laid him down and leaned over him, pushing the white shirt open to expose Baekhyun's chest, and as Chanyeol's mouth met with his sweet vanilla skin the rest of the world vanished.   


Chanyeol showered and dressed in a casual button up and trousers. He had a meeting after lunch with a solo artist, well established but looking to go in a new direction, and they hadn't cancelled yet. So he fixed his hair and grabbed his work and headed out the door. He begged Baekhyun to stay, to relax and swim or paint, he wanted Baekhyun to be waiting for him when he got home. Baekhyun conceded and watched Chanyeol get ready. He would stay and wait for him today.

Once Chanyeol was gone Baekhyun felt suddenly uncomfortable. It was weird being alone in someone else's house. Baekhyun wandered around, trying to get used to it, feeling out of place. He inspected the coffee machine and decided it looked too complicated. He didn't like to watch tv, he couldn't just walk to the cafe or the park, in fact he couldn't go anywhere. The house was miles away from anything. The only place he could go was the beach. Baekhyun found some shorts and headed down the stairs, canvas under his arm, landing softly on the sand at the bottom.

Chanyeol was struggling. His focus during the meeting wandered and wavered. He felt awful. His head was pounding and his legs felt like lead. He just wanted it to be over. His ideas though, as per usual, were perfect. A shake of the hand and a contract was placed on the table. He went to sign it, reluctantly, then broached the unspoken subject hanging over his head. "I'm hoping you've already seen the news this morning?" The contract was still signed. Chanyeol couldn't wait to tell Baekhyun.

He moved with difficulty, like he was underwater, through the rest of the day. The drive up the winding cliff seemed to take forever. All he could think about was getting back to Baekhyun. He finally parked his car and rushed into the house to find it silent. He stood in the empty house and listened. Silence. Where was he? He promised he would be there, waiting for Chanyeol's return, he wouldn't leave if he promised.

Chanyeol walked out on to the deck and breathed a sigh of relief.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

He was here. Somewhere. And then Chanyeol knew.

He tossed his shoes off onto the deck and ran for the stairs. As they wound down the cliff face Chanyeol spotted him on the sand. Dressed in nothing but a pair of Chanyeol's shorts, canvas and brushes and paints discarded recklessly on the beach around him. He wasn't painting. He was just sitting and watching the waves. As the wind whipped his hair back from his face he turned and saw Chanyeol on the stairs. The smile breaking across his face was comparable to the sun bursting through clouds. Joy radiated from Baekhyun when he saw Chanyeol rushing towards him.

All Baekhyun's uncomfortable feelings from the house had been washed away on the beach. The beach belonged to everyone and no one. Baekhyun had swam and painted and even made a sandcastle. Loneliness had just begun to set in and as he was once again pondering his isolation when he saw Chanyeol running down the stairs towards him. He jumped up and ran towards him and let the tall man scoop him up into his arms. As he swung him around Baekhyun began to laugh. "Put me down." He pushed away but in vain. "I'm not a child." Chanyeol laughed. "Then why are you giggling like one?"

The night air out on the deck was cool but Baekhyun was warm. Chanyeol had wrapped him in and blanket and laughed. "You're a Baek burrito." He said as he kissed Baekhyun lips softly and ruffled his hair. Baekhyun didn't know if it was the blanket or Chanyeol's words that made him warm all over. Once again Chanyeol cooked for him, and sang for him, and took him to bed and loved him. And Baekhyun loved him back.

But in the morning when Chanyeol had meetings Baekhyun asked to be taken home. He couldn't stand another day of being trapped at the beach. "Meet me at the coffee shop when you're done working." Baekhyun whispered as he absentmindedly played with Chanyeol's ear. "Work hard today." He pecked Chanyeol's lips and jumped out the car without looking back.

Chanyeol watched him walk away until he disappeared. He wanted to ask him to move in, to come and live in his beach house, but he knew it would be futile. The tiny enigma that was Baekhyun would never allow himself to be isolated like that and Chanyeol couldn't blame him. He took a deep breath as he felt the now familiar hush, the silence and still, as it washed through his chest and over his body.

The car roared into life as Chanyeol turned the key and headed for his meeting. He had a lot of work to get through today and all he could think about was counting the minutes until he could hold Baekhyun in his arms again.

 

Mornings seemed less fun in Baekhyun's apartment. He used to love waking up on his own time, usually around 11am, and wandering barefoot on the carpet. He used to love the feel of the carpet under his feet and the taste of cheap instant coffee in his mouth. The glow of the morning sun streaming in as he looked down on the street below. Now it was all bleak and bland and lonely.

He knew Chanyeol had more work today. He would wait for a phone call later. Until then he made do with the photos on his phone. He had never painted a portrait before but inspiration washed over him like cleansing rainfall. He hurriedly dressed in some jeans and a tshirt and threw a hat over his unwashed hair. His brushes and a canvas were under his arm as he rushed to the park, the spot where they first kissed, before he lost his train of thought.   


Barely able to get up, Chanyeol groaned as he swung his legs over the side of his bed, feeling the cold wooden floor beneath them. His hands went to his hair as his head throbbed and ached. He wandered into the bathroom and found some painkillers and hoped it would get him through the day.

He drank his coffee slowly. It was delicious, rich and aromatic, but it tasted better when Baekhyun was with him. He imagined Baekhyun here, clad in only Chanyeol's white shirt, his pink lips and his pink cheeks flushed with the heat of Chanyeol's kisses. He imagined his tongue tasting Baekhyun's perfectly creamy skin, his big hands in his soft hair, his teeth nipping gently at Baekhyun's collarbone.

Chanyeol's boxers felt suddenly tight. _Jesus Christ_ , he swore to himself, _I'm fucking addicted to him_. His head hurt, his legs hurt and now his dick was rock hard and aching inside his underwear. It had only been just over 24 hours and he was struggling.

His head swam with tension as he made his way back to the bathroom. He ran the shower and sat on the edge of the bath. _My ankles look swollen_. He pushed it out of his mind. He was fine.

The hot water seemed to revive him a little. He shampooed his hair and let his mind wander as he rinsed. He wondered what Baekhyun was doing. It was early by Baekhyun's standards and he was probably still asleep. Chanyeol suddenly realised he didn't know what his bedroom looked like.

Chanyeol's erection was persistent. As soon as the image of Baekhyun appeared in his mind he was aroused. He imagined Baekhyun asleep surrounded by brightly coloured pillows, black cotton sheets encasing his soft skin, his lips puffed and damp. He wondered if he slept naked when he was alone or if that was a sacred rite for Chanyeol's bed only.

He imagined himself, lucky enough to be granted a key, letting himself in to find Baekhyun naked in his bed. He would kiss his pouted lips until he was awake, until his lips were swollen and rosy, until Baekhyun begged him for more. He imagined himself slipping off his jeans and tshirt and sliding between the cool cotton sheets to be met with the searing heat of Baekhyun's touch.

Chanyeol leaned his head against the cold tiles and desperately pumped at his erection. Baekhyun was irresistible, even if only in his imagination, and he cried out his name as he came into his own hand. He thrust hard through his orgasm as he pictured Baekhyun naked and beautiful, rolling on top of him, begging for his touch. He felt better after the release. He felt almost normal. He didn't know if it was the painkillers, the hot shower, or his fantasy that revived him. But Chanyeol dried and dressed and headed to the studio prepared to start his work day.

The studio was Chanyeol's second favourite place but today it held no appeal. The longer he worked the worse he felt. His legs were tight and heavy. His head pounded and he felt like someone was sitting on his chest. He gave up fighting the inevitable. He called Dr Yoo.

He knew he would have to go in. He still sent the message.

**_Today 2:44pm_** **_To: bbh baby_** **_Wait for me at the cafe. I need to see you. I'll be there as soon as I can._**

He stripped off his shirt for Dr Yoo. The doctor squeezed his ankles, attached monitors, and took his temperature. _Don't say it._ Chanyeol desperately willed those words he was dreading to not come out of Dr Yoo's mouth.

_Please don't say it._

_Please._

_Please._

"Chanyeol. How close exactly are you with this 'friend'? The one who makes your heart beat." Chanyeol's stubbornly silent heart shattered into a million pieces. "Close." His eyes blazed at Dr Yoo, daring him to say it, all the while not wanting to hear it.

"Chanyeol." Dr Yoo's calm demeanour counteracted Chanyeol's agitation as he removed the wires and tubes and monitors. "Your body is telling you it's under pressure. You need to listen to it." Chanyeol stood up. "Is that all for today Dr Yoo?" He pulled his shirt on and turned towards the door not waiting for an answer. "If you get worse you need to come in straight away Chanyeol. Listen to your body's warning signs." Dr Yoo called furtively to Chanyeol's back as he exited the clinic.

The cafe closed at 5 and it was 5:34pm. Minseok was out the back cleaning up and Baekhyun was at his favourite table staring at his phone. Two bland lattes drunk and one wasted. He had been waiting for forever. Chanyeol's message had given him an uneasy feeling. He picked absentmindedly at some beach sand stuck inside the phone cover as he waited. Every minute that went past made him more worried.

_What if something has happened to him?_

_What if he's not coming._

_What if I never see him again?_

He had hidden his day's work in the storeroom of the cafe. He wasn't ready yet. It was raw and honest and beautiful, just like Chanyeol, and Baekhyun had no idea how he had managed to capture Chanyeol's essence so perfectly. But he couldn't share it yet. He wasn't ready.

He laid his head down on his arms and closed his eyes. He wondered how much longer he should wait before he accepted defeat and went home. _Have faith Baekhyun. He said he was coming. He'll be here._

As he closed his eyes and his mind began to wander he heard banging on the door. His head snapped up and he turned and saw him. The door was locked and Chanyeol was outside, his body pressed against the glass, his eyes searching the cafe frantically for Baekhyun. And when he saw him there, looking so panicked and desperate, Baekhyun knew in his heart that he had fallen. He had fallen hard and fast, uncontrollably and miraculously in love with him, and in that fleeting precious moment he was honest with himself for once. Baekhyun was in love.

Chanyeol had rushed to the cafe. He knew it was late, so late, but every fibre of his being was alive with hope that Baekhyun was still there. The door was locked but the lights were on and as he pressed his body against the glass to search for him he felt it.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

He was in there. Chanyeol frantically banged on the door and when he saw Baekhyun walking towards him he felt whole again. Adrenaline coursed throughout his body and his heart pounded in his chest. When Baekhyun opened the door Chanyeol clung to him like he might vanish at any moment.

"I missed you so much." He breathed into Baekhyun's hair as he clutched the small man against his body. Baekhyun snuggled against his chest and felt the soothing rhythm of Chanyeol's mystery beating away in his ear. "I missed you too. So much." His words were muffled into Chanyeol's shirt but it didn't matter. Chanyeol felt their meaning in his heart.

As Baekhyun looked up into Chanyeol's face he knew something was wrong. "What's the matter?" He asked, his voice quiet, wavering slightly in its concern.

"Nothing." Chanyeol said. "Nothing now we're together." His eyes burned into Baekhyun's as he locked their gaze. "Take me to your place please. I need you now Baekhyun. Don't make me wait."

 

Chanyeol drove them in his car to Baekhyun's apartment block. The car ride was tense and silent. Both men, painfully aware of the other, were too afraid to speak. If they opened their mouths their feelings might spill out uncontrollably.

Baekhyun led Chanyeol to the elevator where they once again stood in silence. The air was thick with tension and they stood on opposite sides of the elevator. It seemed to take forever.

Finally Baekhyun was fumbling with the key in the lock and the door swung open. As soon as it slammed behind them Chanyeol was all over Baekhyun living his fantasy out in reality. "Where is your bedroom?" His voice was husky as his hands were all over Baekhyun's body. Baekhyun stifled a giggle as Chanyeol's mouth made its way down his neck. He grabbed the nearest doorknob and turned it to reveal a neat bedroom, small but clean and airy, with a double bed in the middle of the room. The bed was covered with a bright yellow and grey geometric patterned cover and as Chanyeol tossed Baekhyun down onto it the cover shifted to reveal black sheets.

"I knew it." Chanyeol said as he pulled Baekhyun shirt over his head. His alabaster chest, his rose petal lips, the strip of fine hair below his bellybutton. Baekhyun's perfection shook Chanyeol to the core. He was losing control. His heart beat heavily in his chest as he went for Baekhyun's jeans. He pulled them off as his hunger rose. He wanted Baekhyun, the Baekhyun from his fantasy, naked and flushed and moaning. He would make him moan, he would touch him in all the ways Baekhyun loved, until he moaned and cried and begged him to push inside his body.

Baekhyun was naked and Chanyeol wasn't. He laid back on his bed and waited for Chanyeol's mouth on his skin. He was surprised when Chanyeol stood up and flicked the light switch plunging the room into darkness. He held his breath as he waited. Every sense besides his sight was on high alert. Every muscle in his naked body tensed waiting for Chanyeol's touch.

He felt the bed shift under Chanyeol's weight and then hot breath on his neck. Chanyeol breathed heavily against Baekhyun's ear, nipped at his earlobe, then ran his tongue down the length of Baekhyun's neck. His hungry mouth bit and sucked at the sweet skin that filled his senses with pleasure. Goosebumps sprang up all over Baekhyun's body. He writhed and twisted, desperate for more, his body wordlessly begging for Chanyeol to satisfy it.

Chanyeol's tongue moved more urgently. It ran down his neck and over his collarbone, lingering over the prominent bone to make another mark, before making its way to a nipple. Even in the pitch black room Chanyeol knew Baekhyun's nipple was rosy and swollen and he rolled his mouth around it in delight. Baekhyun moaned loudly. "Chanyeol. Stop teasing me." His breath was short and desperate as his hands tried to grab at Chanyeol but the other man was still fully dressed and bare skin was lacking.

Suddenly Chanyeol's mouth was gone. Baekhyun held his breath and waited. The bed shifted again. Baekhyun waited in anticipation. His dick was hard and exposed to the night. His body was desperate for Chanyeol. He couldn't wait any longer. He breathed a sigh of relief when Chanyeol's naked body rolled on top of him.

Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun slowly as he revelled in the feeling of skin on skin. _So warm._ Baekhyun felt so good, and he smelled so good, and he tasted so good in Chanyeol's mouth. Life was pouring into Chanyeol's body as he began to thrust and moan. He groaned audibly as he pressed his erection into Baekhyun's thigh. He moved his mouth from Baekhyun's perfectly delicious lips, trailing down his body, past his throbbing erection to Baekhyun's smooth inner thighs.

As soon as Chanyeol's head was between his legs Baekhyun opened them wide. He was splayed wantonly on his bed, exposed even in the dark, his body completely given over to Chanyeol. He gasped as he felt teeth on his inner thigh, then large hands, calloused from the guitar. He couldn't see a thing but he felt every movement Chanyeol made. He felt his breath ghosting over his erection. He felt his teeth nipping at his soft thighs. He felt fingers entering him, stretching him, making him feel needy and whiny and empty. "Chanyeol." He cried out to the darkness. "Please Chanyeol. It's not enough."

Baekhyun tensed as hot words breathed into his ear. "There's no lube here Baek. Are you sure?" Baekhyun didn't care. He needed Chanyeol now. "I need you Chanyeol." His desire became desperate words. "I need you inside me." Chanyeol moved carefully in the dark. He moved his mouth to Baekhyun's erection, making him gasp in surprise, and as he hollowed his cheeks and sucked he let his saliva run.

He worked his mouth, bringing a softy moaning Baekhyun right to the edge of his orgasm, before removing his mouth. Baekhyun was almost begging, desperate for more, his body slick and wet with Chanyeol's saliva. It was the best he could do. He couldn't control himself any longer.

Chanyeol was done waiting. "Turn over." He whispered, his voice hoarse and husky, making Baekhyun shiver. He rolled over and kneeled up on all fours as he felt Chanyeol's hot and hard dick teasing his entrance. Without further warning Chanyeol pushed himself inside, his entire length driving hard into Baekhyun's body, his heart beating heavier than it ever had before. The intensity of his pleasure was immeasurable as he withdrew almost all of his length before pounding it back in hard and fast.

Baekhyun arched his body as Chanyeol pushed roughly inside. This was a difference Chanyeol, one with nothing to lose, one with hunger burning uncontrollably within. He was wild and completely dominating. He drove hard into Baekhyun's tiny body as Baekhyun pushed back against him. Pleasure combined with sweet pain as Chanyeol found a place inside Baekhyun's body that he never knew existed. Chanyeol wound his fist with a chunk of Baekhyun's hair, pulling hard as he fucked him, and all Baekhyun could do was moan through his ecstasy.

He came hard, releasing himself all over his bed, and collapsed his exhausted body flat onto his stomach. Chanyeol didn't miss a beat, continuing to ride his body hard into the mattress, and when he pressed his whole body on top of Baekhyun he felt his own orgasm build. He thrust harder, biting down hard into the back of Baekhyun's soft neck, and called his name as he came. He came inside Baekhyun, filling him with wet warmth, filling his ear with desperate words. "I love you. I love you Baekhyun." His spent body finally came to its senses and he pulled out.

They lay silent in the darkness for a long time. Baekhyun's head rested on Chanyeol's broad chest as the tall man stroked his hair and hummed a tune under his breath. Baekhyun recognised it as the one Chanyeol had played for him out on the deck. It was his favourite.

Baekhyun wanted to lay with Chanyeol forever but he also wanted water. He wanted a shower and a few painkillers and to inspect the marks on his body. He enjoyed a sense of self satisfaction when Chanyeol marked him. It made his memories more real. He got up from the bed and turned on the light. In Chanyeol's post coital bliss he had forgotten his original reason for turning out the lights. Baekhyun sucked in a deep breath when he saw Chanyeol's chest covered in the telltale circles from the heart monitor pads that had been stuck to his skin that day.

"Chanyeol, why have you been at the clinic?" Panic rose in Baekhyun's voice. "And why didn't you tell me?" Chanyeol couldn't say it. Baekhyun knew the answer anyway. Neither wanted to say it or hear it. As long as it went unspoken then it didn't exist.

Baekhyun crawled into Chanyeol's lap and curled up into a ball. "Is this our last night together?" Baekhyun whispered. Chanyeol couldn't answer but they both knew it would be. The thoughts Baekhyun had been pushing down came bubbling up uncontrollably.

_I can't keep doing this._

_How can I be so selfish._

_I can't keep hurting him._

_I'm making him sick._

_I have to let him go._

Baekhyun sobbed as Chanyeol held him tight. He wished he hadn't wasted so many days being reluctant. He wished they had more time. He wished it could be forever. But above all that he wished for Chanyeol to live and be healthy. Even if it meant losing him from his life.

 

It was hard. Harder than anything else he had ever done.

Chanyeol cancelled all his meetings. Baekhyun had nothing to cancel. He was stuck in melancholy, wondering how Chanyeol had become his whole world in a matter of weeks, thinking about if he could go back to the way things were.

Could he go back? Back to wandering aimlessly though the park? Back to sitting in the coffee shop alone? Back to being alone? What would he do if it were him?

_If it was me I would hold on_

_I would never let go_

_I'd rather die than give Chanyeol up_

But it wasn't him. Could he live with himself? Could he spend every day with Chanyeol and watch him get sick? Could he watch him suffer? He knew he couldn't. He had to know that Chanyeol was out there somewhere, living as he was before, healthy and strong and alive.

Chanyeol cradled Baekhyun in his arms. No one spoke. No one had to. He couldn't really believe that it was his first night in Baekhyun's bed and also his last. The bed was smaller, everything here was smaller, but he could be happy here. If it wasn't for his stupid heart beating away he could give it all up. His career, his house on the cliff, his awards and accolades and his money. Chanyeol wished for a world where his heart was normal and he and Baekhyun were poor but happy, spending their days in the park, Baekhyun painting and Chanyeol busking with his guitar for a few coins. At sunset they could walk back home to this tiny apartment, eat cheap cup ramen, spend every night naked and tangled together in this bed that was too small for two grown men.

Tears rolled down Chanyeol's cheeks. He had told himself that he wouldn't cry but he couldn't help it. The last few weeks had been the happiest of his life. For the first time he felt truly alive. Eating while his heart beat. Sleeping while his heart beat. Laughing and crying and making love. All indescribably better with a beating heart. How could he let it go?

_How can I walk away?_

_How can I go back to an empty life?_

_How can I go on without him?_

Chanyeol would rather be sick than leave Baekhyun. He would rather die with Baekhyun by his side than forge ahead with his empty meaningless existence. But he couldn't do that to Baekhyun. How could he put him through it? How could he make Baekhyun suffer? The guilt would eat the other man alive. He couldn't make them both suffer. The only way to protect Baekhyun was to walk away.

All Chanyeol could do was kiss the small man in his arms. He kissed him over and over again. He kissed his hair, his eyelids, the tip of his nose. He pecked tiny kisses from his ear all the way down his jawline. He wanted to burn every inch of Baekhyun into his memory. Finally Baekhyun broke the silence. His voice was heavy with emotion. "Chanyeol. I love you. These last few weeks have been the happiest time in my life and I'll always be grateful that you came into my life and taught me to see who I really was." Tears rolled down his cheeks, tiny rivers forging across his smooth complexion, making his nose flush pink.

Chanyeol kissed his tears away. The salty taste took him back to the beach, that first clandestine night where they huddled under a blanket and found each others bodies, the waves and the sand and the spray. He would never be able to go down there without thinking of nervously fumbling in the dark for just a taste of Baekhyun's beautiful skin.

"Baekhyun. Thank you. I know you were scared but you were brave enough to give us a chance." Chanyeol squeezed him again, crushing the tiny body against his chest, for the first time he hated the pounding within.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._  


_Shut the fuck up_

_Why won't you just stop_

_Why me?_

It was too much. Chanyeol got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. He washed his face as he stared at his reflection. He wanted to shatter the mirror into a million pieces to match his shattered heart.

By the time he collected himself he walked out to find Baekhyun out of bed. Chanyeol had to smile when he searched the floor for his shirt and it was missing. He knew where it was. He walked slowly and softly out in to the kitchen. As Baekhyun turned towards him, shirt unbuttoned and hanging down to his knees, Chanyeol stole his photo. He checked his gallery immediately and smiled when he saw it there. Perfection. Baekhyun was beautiful in his sadness.

Baekhyun handed Chanyeol a mug of instant coffee with milk and sugar and it was the best coffee he had ever had. His first and last coffee, made by his love, he drank it as slow as he could. Everything was the last and he tried to make it all last forever.

They showered and dressed and headed out for a walk. If this was their last day together they weren't wasting it inside. Baekhyun wanted to go to the park. A few weeks ago the green and brown and lavender was decorated with the pink and white Sakura. Now the branches were bare. As the wind whipped around them, blowing Baekhyun's hair wildly, Chanyeol was reminded of the way he turned towards him on the beach. But the glow of joy had been replaced by a pallid melancholy.

_He looks pale_

_He thinks he's hurting me_

_But I'm hurting him too_

Chanyeol almost couldn't bear it. Their last day was almost too perfect. He stood beneath the bare branches and kissed Baekhyun for the last time in the same spot where they shared their first kiss. He stroked his cheek and fingered his hair and pulled him as close as he could.

"At least we have our memories." Chanyeol whispered in Baekhyun ear. "It was perfect. We never even got to have an argument." Baekhyun smiled at him, grinning through his tears, his eyes bloodshot and sunken.

"Goodbye Baekhyun. I'll always love you." Chanyeol turned and walked away. He heard a choked sob in the distance and he began to run. He ran without looking back. The further he got the slower it beat.

Finally the unsettling hush washed over his chest.

His heart was silent again.

For the first time ever in his life Chanyeol wanted to die.

 

It had been three days. Three days since Chanyeol left Baekhyun behind in the park. Three days since he had wound his tiny body inside his blanket and never wanted to leave.

Minseok turned up on his doorstep on the fourth day. He used his spare key to let himself in and was horrified. The windows hadn't been opened in days. A few empty wine bottles were the only sign of consumption. He opened the door to Baekhyun's bedroom and reeled at the sight of Baekhyun, pale and thin, wound up tightly in the blanket. An empty wine bottle was on the bedside table. It was 3pm.

"Baek are you drunk?" Minseok asked. Baekhyun had never been a big drinker. This wasn't good. "Hey Minseok!" A tiny voice wavered from inside the blanket. "I'm not drunk. I'm a Baek burrito." Baekhyun sat up and immediately retched, leaning over and emptying his stomach all over the floor, before beginning to cry again.

Minseok sighed and went into the bathroom. He began to fill the tub with water, returning to drag Baekhyun towards it, getting no help from the tiny man. "How are you so heavy?" Minseok grunted as he dragged him under the arms. "How are you so mean?" Baekhyun mumbled to himself. As soon as he got to the bathroom Minseok put him down and he immediately curled up into a ball. "No bath Minseokkkieeeeee.... Please... I feel sick..." Baekhyun mumbled and began to hiccup. "You smell like a skunk. And you need to sober up." Minseok pulled his shirt off over his head. He shook his head as he examined the state of Baekhyun's body. His pale chest was thinner than ever and his stomach muscles were wasting. He needed to eat. The telltale signs of his last night with Chanyeol were still evident on his neck and chest and stomach. The pinks and purples were fading but still hurt. Like his memories.

"I don't wanna...." He whined again and tried to hold on to his shorts but Minseok pulled them off anyway and picked him up. He dropped him into the warm water in his boxers and sat down on the floor next to the bath. Baekhyun clearly needed supervision.

The water revived Baekhyun from semi comatose to miserable. He was still half drunk as the water cooled and his fingers wrinkled. Minseok pulled the plug and Baekhyun laid sullenly in the bottom of the draining tub. "You have to get up." Minseok demanded. He had found a towel but he couldn't lift Baekhyun again. As the water drained away a shivering and pale Baekhyun rose and stepped out. He took the towel and examined himself in the mirror.

The bruises were fading. He didn't want them to. Rehydrated from the bath water, his tears dropped down again, as his delicate fingers traced the places Chanyeol had been. "What am I going to do?" His hoarse voice was barely a whisper. He wasn't even really speaking to Minseok. Or himself.

Finally he remembered Minseok was still standing there, watching him shiver and cry, and talk to himself. "Can you take me to the cafe? I want cake." Minseok smiled at his friend. He had a hard road ahead of him but he would bounce back. He would recover. He had to.  


No one came to help Chanyeol. He worked for 36 hours straight before collapsing in a heap on the couch in the studio. His solitude was his prison and his punishment. He felt like shit. Leaving Baekhyun was supposed to heal him, to help him, to make him feel normal again. Normal. He mulled over the word in his mind and decided he hated it. Who wants to be normal? What even was normal? If this was a normal life he didn't want it.

His eyelids drooped as he clutched at his phone. He knew setting his wallpaper and lock screen to pictures of Baekhyun wasn't making this any easier but it was all he had left. He scrolled through his gallery. Baekhyun on the beach. Baekhyun in the park. Baekhyun in his bed, and his living room, and his car. His subconscious mind must have known that one day these would be all he had left.

Finally he slept. His heart was silent.

He woke up feeling worse. He had slept all day and now it was night and he was awake and sick and sullen. Most of all he was just quietly, heartbreakingly sad. He tried to stand but his legs were stiff and sore and tight. _Swollen_ , he thought, _exactly what Dr Yoo warned me about_. His headache was blinding and his chest hurt. He didn't know what to do. He grabbed his phone and ordered food. As he hung up he was distracted by the picture of Baekhyun on his lock screen. His favourite. Baekhyun's angelic morning glow. Tears filled his eyes as he stared at the picture. His chest hurt. _I need to delete the photos. All of them._ But as his fingers hovered over the delete button he couldn't do it. When his food arrived he tried to eat but it was futile. It tasted like dust in his mouth.

The food discarded, he went back to his work, but he was sick of making empty songs for other people. It had been three days, maybe four, who really knew? Each hour that passed he thought he would feel better but he just felt worse. He picked up his guitar and tried to smooth his broken soul with some soft chords. Suddenly he knew what he needed to do. His song. He played it for him but he never gave it to him. At least it would be a special goodbye gift. Something Baekhyun could keep and Chanyeol wouldn't have to worry so much that he was going to disappear from the beautiful man's memories.

**_I wish I knew which button to push_** **_Then I'd know how to please you_** **_It's sad but true_** **_So I'll just listen in down the line_** **_While you're busy mixing grape with grain_** **_To sedate your pain_**

**_Songbird, you got tales to tell_** **_How many times can you describe your living hell?_**

**_The sweeping gesture creates a fuss_** **_It's only useful when receiving praise_** **_Relieving no-ones pain_** **_If you'd let somebody love you just enough_** **_You'd have everything you'd need to break_** **_Free from all your pain_**

He laid the track down in one take. A few chords, a gentle pounding drum keeping time, his voice strong and clear. It wavered but never broke. He copied it to a USB and saved it to his laptop. Then he curled up on the tiny couch and cried himself to sleep.  


Baekhyun's sunken eyes and dark circles had Minseok really worried. His cheekbones were sharp ridges and even his hands looked thinner than ever. He picked at the vanilla sponge, trying to taste it, his body both desperate for nourishment and adamant in its rejection. "Why don't you come and stay with me for a few days?" He suggested quietly. Tears welled in Baekhyun's eyes for the hundredth time that day. "I'd like that." His smile was sad but it was there. "Do you have any wine at your house?" Minseok was pleased to see the smile. It meant that a little piece of the old Baekhyun was still there.

 

Baekhyun felt like he was lost and never wanted to be found. Minseok's apartment was a safe haven. As much as he missed Chanyeol like the desert missed the summer rain he knew seeing him would be worse. It would only make this harder.

Minseok wanted Baekhyun to come to the cafe, do a few hours work, get his mind off things. Be around people. Baekhyun knew he couldn't. "It's been six days. He's going to come looking for me. I can't bear to say goodbye again." Minseok just sighed. He knew as soon as he left Baekhyun was going to down a bottle of wine and sleep the day away on the couch. _I'll give him ten days. Then it's time for an intervention_.

As Minseok grabbed his keys and coat Baekhyun called out to him. "Wait. I just thought of something." Minseok stopped and turned. "The painting. If he comes looking for me make sure you give him the painting. It's still in the storeroom." Minseok nodded and he saw a semblance of relief in Baekhyun's eyes. At least he might sleep easier today.

Chanyeol woke up at home. He barely remembered returning the night before. He'd had a few meetings, did some work in the studio, all of which were a blur.  Six days. Six of the longest and most painful of his life. He felt worse every day. His legs were swollen, his eyes were sunken and his headache was so bad he wanted to die.

He checked his Instagram but Baekhyun's was silent. No activity, no beautiful aesthetics, no selfies. _I have to see him even if it kills me._ He grabbed his phone and dialled. It rang and went to messages. He tried again. Four calls and no answer. He sent a message. It was all he could do.

**_Today 9:49am_** **_To: bbh baby_** **_Please reply. I just wanted to hear your voice. Just tell me you're okay._**

Baekhyun okay was the last thing Chanyeol wanted to think about. The selfish Chanyeol that lurked inside wanted Baekhyun broken and miserable and as hurt as he was. He felt sick as his stomach twisted. He threw the phone down on the couch and headed for the stairs. He decided that instead of waiting for the phone call that wasn't coming he would throw his useless body into the waves. Maybe he might even be lucky enough to drown.

He came close but didn't. He tried to force his heavy leaden legs through the water but they wouldn't move properly. They were swollen and sore. He felt sick. He barely dragged himself up the stairs.

Finally at the top he made the call. Dr Yoo said to come in straight away. He wanted to send an ambulance but Chanyeol refused. Maybe he might be lucky enough to run his car off the road into a ditch. He grabbed his keys and tried to clear his head for the drive to the hospital.

Baekhyun drank until he fell asleep. In this case it was around 9:30am. _Why was each day getting harder. It was supposed to get easier not fucking harder._ He cried and he drank the wine and he slept an uneasy, fitful sleep. He woke up hours later, his head pounding and his throat sore. He wondered when he would finally be able to get through a day without crying.

He grabbed his phone but it was dead. Before Chanyeol the phone didn't matter. No one called or sent him sweet messages, no one tagged him in slightly embarrassing Instagram posts, no one cared. Without Chanyeol on the other end it was just a lump of glass and plastic. He tossed it on the table and went to the shower. He smelled like a dumpster and he wanted to go for a walk. He was tired of the walls closing in on him. He wondered if he could walk all the way to the beach. Not Chanyeol's beach. A beach where he could be alone.

Chanyeol lay on the table. He sniffed and sucked back tears. "I stopped seeing him." His voice wavered and broke. "I gave him up and I feel worse..." Chanyeol turned his face away from the doctor trying to assess his body function. "Give it a few more days Chanyeol. Your body might just be trying to readjust." The doctor inspected the machines and took blood. "I'll need these bloods rushed through. Everything is wrong. Your oxygen is dangerously low, your blood sugar is high, your legs are swollen and you're having chest pain. Chanyeol these are the signs of heart failure. It's hard to assess because you have no heart rate or blood pressure to measure." He unplugged the machines. "I'd like to admit you for observation."

"No way." Chanyeol jumped off the bed. Anger rose in his silent chest. "I left him. I hurt him and I left him. And I love him. He's gone, just like you said he had to be, he's gone and I just feel worse!" Chanyeol found his shirt and shoes and dressed quickly. "I'm not staying here. If I'm going to die it's going to be with him. I don't even care anymore." Dr Yoo tried to stop him but it was futile. Chanyeol walked away.

He went straight to the cafe. Minseok was finishing up for the day, it was 4pm and the flow of customers was dropping off. He couldn't miss the arrival of the tall and handsome man. _He really is beautiful. I can see why Baekhyun fell for him._ Minseok steeled his resolve as the man walked towards him.

"I need to see him." Was all he said. His face was pinched and desperate. Minseok felt bad for him but he had to respect Baekhyun's wishes. "He's not here." Chanyeol sank into a chair near the counter. He squinted his eyes shut and clutched at his chest. Shit. Minseok swore to himself. He went over and put his hand on Chanyeol's shoulder. "He misses you. Desperately." He could feel Chanyeol's pain radiating from his broken body. "I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse. But he can't say goodbye to you twice. It'll destroy him." Chanyeol nodded. He understood. "Please just makes sure he gets this." He fumbled in his pocket and found the USB.

He stood up to leave but Minseok stopped him. "Wait. He has something for you too." He went to the storeroom and found the canvas. It was covered in a protective layer of brown paper and written on the front, in black sharpie, the script was beautifully messy and distinctively Baekhyun:

_bbh_


	2. the rest of the story sorry

 

Minseok felt awkward just carrying something so personal. He handed it over to Chanyeol who looked like he could fall asleep at any moment. Handing over the gift seemed to breath a last gasp of life into his empty shell. "Thank you. Please take care of him." Chanyeol said as he walked out of the cafe.

 

Chanyeol had to get out of there. The cloying sweet scents of the cafe that once felt comforting now felt oppressive. He gasped for fresh air outside but he couldn't suck enough in. He felt like he was drowning. He needed the park. He lugged the canvas over to the place where it all began. The place where he felt like his life began. He sat on the grass under the bare branches of the Sakura. He carefully drew back the brown paper to reveal...

_Himself?_

He was stunned. It was beautiful. It was his face, painted in the fiery passion of red and pink and black. The colours were strong and angry and fierce. But as strong as the colours were, the brush strokes were gentle and loving, and the details were finely crafted.

_Is this how he sees me?_

_What have I done?_

_I need to see him_

_Now_

Chanyeol ran to his car with the canvas under his arm. He placed it on the backseat and climbed into the drivers seat. His head spun and swam as he started the engine. It wasn't far to Baekhyun's apartment. He hoped he would make it. His eyes struggled to maintain focus as his whole body shook. He shouldn't be driving and he knew it. But he had to get there.

He was almost there when he blacked out. He the world disappeared and came back into focus quickly but he still scared himself. He pulled his car over into the nearest space on the side of the road and got out. He would have to walk. If he could.

His legs didn't want to move but Chanyeol used every single ounce of willpower he possessed. He forced one in front of the other until he finally reached Baekhyun's apartment. As he rode the elevator he welcomed the momentary rest. He sank heavily against the side, wanting to sit, knowing he might not get back up. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain in his body. The doors opened and he once again had to will himself to move.

His knocking was futile. He knew Baekhyun wasn't there. If Baekhyun was hiding in his apartment from Chanyeol, ignoring his thunderous knocks, Chanyeol would know. His heart would tell him.

His chest was silent.

As he sank to the floor, defeated and dejected, he felt like giving in. He had enough. The pain was too great. His body was broken, his mind was tortured and his heart was locked in an eternal unbreakable hush.

But Chanyeol got up to move. He felt like he was underwater. Reality had left his mind, he panted and gasped for air but it couldn't satisfy him, his stomach knotted and threatened to empty itself. He did the only thing he could think of to keep moving out of the building. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and tears streamed down his cheeks at the sight of beautiful, glowing, ethereal Baekhyun smiling at him from his lock screen. He endured the elevator and finally ran out of the building into the sunset air. Gasping for breath, broken and utterly exhausted, his Baekhyun was nowhere to be found. It was too much. As Chanyeol headed across the road to his car everything went black.

Minseok felt drained as he arrived home. He wanted to support Baekhyun but this was so exhausting. _No wonder he drinks_. Minseok could do with one himself. He let himself into the apartment to find Baekhyun showered and dressed and eating his beloved cup ramen. "You look better." Minseok knew the improvement would be fleeting. "Yeah." Baekhyun stared off into the distance at something Minseok could never see. "I was going to go for a walk but this was as far as I got."

 

 

Minseok really didn't want to do it but he had to. He put his hand on Baekhyun's arm and spoke softly. "Baek. He came." The touch of colour that had returned drained from Baekhyun's face. "How was he?" Minseok shook his head. "Terrible. Sick. Pale. He looked really bad Baekhyun." Baekhyun began to shake but Minseok continued. "He took the painting.  He didn't open it in front of me. And he gave you this." Minseok pushed the USB across the table. Baekhyun stared at it before searching for Minseok's laptop. "Do you want to be alone?" Minseok asked. "No. I can't be. Please stay." Baekhyun's eyes pleaded as he plugged the stick into the laptop. It only contained one file. "Baekhyun's Song."

Chanyeol's deep honey voice filled the apartment. Every lyric stabbed Baekhyun in the heart. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he endured the beautiful pain of his song. Minseok held him tight as his tiny body shook and sobs escaped his throat.

Minseok held him and rocked him as the song played over and over. Finally exhaustion won out and Baekhyun's body fell into a heavy, but sober, sleep. Minseok silently cursed his deceptively heavy body as he carried the man to his bed in the spare room. As he laid him down gently on the bed one eye fluttered open. "I miss him Minseok. It's too hard. I want him back." "I know." Minseok sat and stroked his hair as he fell back asleep.

He crept out of the room and poured himself that glass of wine he deserved. This didn't add up. Chanyeol should have been getting better. _Fuck_. Minseok thought to himself. _I'm obviously no doctor but any idiot can see this isn't doing either of them any good._ Chanyeol looked terrible. Whenever Minseok had seen him with Baekhyun he was like a different person. He glowed with love, with joy, with life.

He sipped his wine and thought hard. It didn't make sense. It was wrong. They had it all wrong. He remembered a conversation he had with Baekhyun when he first spent time with Chanyeol.

" _His heart didn't beat. That's something wrong. Now it does. That's something right. You've got it the wrong way around."_

And the song Chanyeol wrote.

**_If you'd let somebody love you just enough_** **_You'd have everything you'd need to break_** **_Free from all your pain_**

Minseok knew he had to convince him. The next day he would make him see Chanyeol. Being apart was only hurting both of them. They had to get this sorted. Baekhyun couldn't go on like this much longer and neither could Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun woke up without a hangover for the first time in a week. His body didn't hurt but his heart did. His silent barefoot path led him unconsciously to the bathroom where he examined his face. Sunken cheeks, hollow eyes, greasy hair. He looked like shit.

He cleaned himself up and made his way to the living area and was shocked to find Minseok waiting for him. "Why aren't you at the cafe?" "I got Jongdae to open for me. He knows what he's doing." Minseok replied. Baekhyun realised Minseok was holding his lifeless phone. "We need to talk and for once in your life you need to listen to me."

Minseok pressed a hot mug of latte into Baekhyun's hands. The tiny fingers that clung to it were still trembling. "You need to see him Baekhyun. It doesn't make sense. Being apart isn't helping him." Baekhyun shook as he spoke. "I'm killing him Minseok. He was fine until he met me. And I had to ruin it." Tears dripped onto the carpet as Baekhyun stared at the floor. "I can't watch him die. I can't be the cause. It's too hard." Minseok moved next to him and hugged the man's tiny frame.

"Baekhyun listen to me. You've got it wrong. When you're together how is he?" Baekhyun thought hard. His voice wavered and cracked as happy memories flooded his mind. "He's perfect. He's beautiful and fun and romantic. And happy." Minseok stroked his back. He had to lead himself to the right conclusion. He continued to push him in the right direction. "And how is he when you're apart?" Baekhyun sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Sad. Sick. He misses me and he feels awful." Minseok watched Baekhyun think about what he way saying. He watched him sip the latte and think hard. Finally it clicked.

"Minseok do you remember what you said to me? About his heart beating being right and not wrong?" Minseok nodded. "Do you think that was true?" His voice shrank as he mulled over his conclusion. Minseok turned to him and looked him in the eye. "Yes. Baekhyun I believe it was true, then and now, I don't think being together is the problem. It's being apart. Maybe if you had never met he would be fine. But you did meet and that can't be changed. But being apart isn't helping him at all. So why are you torturing yourselves?"

Baekhyun looked at his dead phone and decided to charge it. "Do you think I should call him?" He asked Minseok quietly. Minseok nodded. Finally the man was starting to see sense.

The phone screen lit, then it vibrated, then it came to life. Notifications lit up the screen. Baekhyun's heart sank when he saw that Chanyeol had been trying to call him.

_He needed me_

_I wasn't there for him_

_What have I done?_

He dialled Chanyeol's number but there was no answer. He tried again and again. No answer. Where could he be?

Dr Yoo paced back and forth in the room. He didn't know what to do. Every machine in the room beeped and buzzed as they all worked together to keep Chanyeol alive.

The last thing Chanyeol had heard was someone shouting for an ambulance. He felt the cold harsh concrete of the road on his face. He felt his will to go on slip out of his grasp. _Baekhyun. Don't forget me._ Cherries and cherry blossoms and sand and salt. The morning sun and Baekhyun's gentle sleepy smile. Bright light. Then nothing.

The ambulance had screamed through the short distance to the hospital. They rushed his long and limp body through the emergent department straight into the ICU. Dr Yoo had been waiting for him. He plugged him into every machine that existed. They would work for a while but he was deteriorating fast. Dr Yoo was going to lose him after all this time and he had no idea what to do.

He walked from the ICU to the heart clinic and searched through his files. Chanyeol's was the easiest to find. It was by far the biggest. He searched through for his next of kin information. A staff member who answered the first number told Dr Yoo that Chanyeol's parents were out of the country. "Tell them to call me. It's an emergency." He hung up. He found another number and dialled. "Hello?" A woman's voice answered. "Is this Tiffany? It's Dr Yoo from the heart clinic. We have you listed as a contact for Park Chanyeol. It's an emergency." There was a silence before she finally replied. "I'll be right there."

Tiffany stared into the room from outside. Chanyeol's body was on the other side of the glass window laid out on a hospital bed. He was connected to wires and monitors and IV drips. His bare chest bore the monitor that remained stubbornly silent. Tears welled in her eyes. He hurt her but she still cared about him. He looked so lifeless.

"Is he going to die?" She asked Dr Yoo. "I don't know." He answered honestly. "What do you know about Baekhyun?" Tiffany sighed sadly. "Not much. As soon as he came into Chanyeol's life it was like no one else existed. I saw them together once." Her eyes dropped to the floor as she recalled the night like it was yesterday.

She had thought she was a welcome visitor at her boyfriend's beautiful beach house. When she had arrived she found herself an unwanted intruder. They had panicked and jumped apart but she wasn't stupid. She knew what they had been doing. And when they disappeared to the beach below she could hear Chanyeol moaning and calling Baekhyun's name into the night like he had never done with her.

"You need to call him here. Not me. If something happens to him it's Baekhyun who needs to be by his side. He loves him." Tiffany turned and walked away before Dr Yoo could see her cry.

Dr Yoo went into the room and looked through Chanyeol's personal items brought in with him by the ambulance. He found his phone and pressed the button revealing a smiling angelic Baekhyun on the lock screen. He needed to get Baekhyun's number. He picked up Chanyeol's hand and used his thumb to unlock the phone and scrolled through the contacts. He found one labelled bbh and hit dial. He hoped Baekhyun would pick up.

 

Baekhyun had tried to call Chanyeol a million times. Why won't he pick up?

_What if something happened to him?_

_What if he's sick?_

_I need to find him_

He showered and washed his hair. _Chanyeol loves this cherry shampoo._ He called out a goodbye to Minseok who was leaving for the cafe. What would he do without Minseok? He dressed in his favourite black skinny jeans and fluffy white v neck sweater. _Chanyeol loves this sweater on me._ He added a line of eyeliner and a slick of cherry lip balm. _Chanyeol loves it when I wear makeup._ He grabbed his half changed phone and headed out the door.

Baekhyun decided to start at his apartment and work from there. He headed up in the elevator to his place and let himself in. He cringed at the smell. It was littered with wine bottles and half eaten cup ramen. Ants crawled in the bin and Minseok had done a pretty lazy job of cleaning up the vomit on his bedroom floor. These were problems for another day.

He left the building and headed on foot towards the cafe and the park. As he headed across the road he saw a familiar black vehicle parked on the side of the road. _Is this Chanyeol's car?_ He approached it and saw his portrait on the backseat. It was Chanyeol's car. Baekhyun's heart began to race. Something must have happened to him. He began to jog, then broke out into a run, as he headed towards the park.

He ran through the park and tears filled his eyes as he passed the spot where he and Chanyeol first kissed. He was thankful every day that Chanyeol was brave and strong enough to grab Baekhyun and kiss him that day as the Sakura fell. Chanyeol was brave and strong and went after what he wanted. Baekhyun had been timid and scared and reticent. Not anymore. He knew what he wanted and he just had to find it.

He passed through the park and finally stopped outside the hospital. He leaned on a garden wall and tried to catch his breath before he went inside. Just as he regained his composure his phone rang. He grabbed it out and his heart skipped when the caller ID said "PCY".

 

"Chanyeol? Are you okay?" He was still breathless as he answered with a mix of fear and relief.

"Baekhyun? This is Dr Yoo. I need you to come to the hospital. It's Chanyeol." Baekhyun's heart sank. "I'm already here." He replied as he hung up and ran into the cold clinical lobby and towards the ICU.

Chanyeol was floating in a long dark tunnel. It was like a dream but not. He felt dizzy, he felt asleep and awake at the same time, he felt like he could never open his eyes. He though he heard Tiffany's voice somewhere in the distance. Someone said Baekhyun's name. _Baekhyun. I need him. Where is he?_ The longer he floated the closer he got to the end. There was light there, bright and white, and pulling him near. It was bright like Baekhyun's smile. It was as white as the crisp sheets that wrapped around Baekhyun's body. It drew him in like the fresh scent of cherries. _I need to find him. Is that where he is? Is he in the light?_ He began moving faster as the light got brighter. _Baekhyun must be here. I can feel him._

Flutter flutter. Flutter flutter.

The butterflies were back.

_Baekhyun must be waiting for me._

Baekhyun found Dr Yoo standing outside Chanyeol's room in the ICU. He looked in through the window and saw Chanyeol's lifeless body on the bed. Anger rose within him as he turned to Dr Yoo with all his fury on show. "This is all your fault. You told him to stay away from me. AND NOW LOOK AT HIM." Baekhyun began to cry. "Let me in. I need to go in there. I won't let him die alone." Dr Yoo opened the door. "I'm sorry." Was all he could say.

Baekhyun flew into the room and grabbed Chanyeol's hand. It was cold and limp and dwarfed Baekhyun's tiny fingers. He stroked the calluses left by the guitar strings and then put Chanyeol's hand on his face. "I'm sorry Chanyeol. I never should have let you walk away from me. I should have fought but I didn't and look what I have done." Tears streamed down his face.

"I love my song. I'm going to listen to it every day. When I miss you I'm going to sit on the beach and play it and pretend you're with me." He squeezed his hand tight but it wasn't enough.

Baekhyun began to pull out the tubes and wires from Chanyeol's body. He took off the heart monitor pads and stroked the telltale circles they left on Chanyeol's chest. When he felt like Chanyeol was free of his medical burdens he climbed onto the bed. He pushed Chanyeol's legs apart and climbed in between them, laying his whole tiny body on top of the other, wrapping his arms tightly around the man he loved so much.

"I'm so sorry. I wish you could take me with you. Chanyeol please don't leave me." His body shook as he sobbed. His hands wrapped tighter as he pushed his body up higher and kissed Chanyeol's pale cheek. He closed his eyes as he held the huge man in his tiny arms and wondered how long he had left.

The tunnel got shorter and the light got brighter. Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was here for sure. The butterflies in his chest were struggling for freedom and his senses were alive with the smell of Baekhyun's delicious cherry shampoo. He couldn't see him but he could feel him, he could feel the weight of Baekhyun's body on his, his arms holding on desperately, Baekhyun's beautifully soft petal lips pressed against his cheek. _He's here. I know it_. And then the proof.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

Chanyeol's heart began to beat.

Baekhyun could feel it. He pressed his head to Chanyeol's chest and his breath caught in his throat at the magical sound of Chanyeol's heartbeat. He felt him shift underneath him and then big strong arms wrapped around Baekhyun's tiny shaking body. "Baekhyun? I dreamed about you." Chanyeol said as his voice cracked. "But it wasn't a dream. You're really here." Baekhyun smiled into Chanyeol's chest. "I'm here. I'll always be here. I'm never leaving your side ever again."

 

Chanyeol sat up in the bed. He had eaten and was feeling better every minute that Baekhyun was with him. His heart was beating a steady and regular rhythm and his face had regained its colour. Dr Yoo was in the room, trying to hook the monitors back in, having trouble working around Baekhyun who staunchly refused to move. Chanyeol hardly noticed. He was too entranced with the beautiful sight in front of him. Baekhyun was beautiful but pale. He had lost weight while they were apart. Chanyeol could tell. His v neck was a little looser, revealing a little too much of his collarbone, making Chanyeol wonder when they would be able to get out of this place and be alone.

"You need to eat!" Baekhyun was trying to feed Chanyeol another spoon of rice. Chanyeol opened his mouth and accepted it, quickly snatching the empty spoon, turning the tables on the bossy little man. "You need to eat." He spooned rice into Baekhyun's mouth. "Don't lose those thighs that drive me wild." Chanyeol smirked as Baekhyun blushed. "Can we get out of here? I've got better things to do." Chanyeol's arms wrapped around Baekhyun's waist as his lips made their way to his neck. Dr Yoo checked his machines and conceded. Everything looked fine.

"Are you okay to just walk out?" Baekhyun asked but Chanyeol just laughed in reply. "Baekhyun I feel so great I could fucking dance out of here! Do you dare me to?" Baekhyun squeaked with laughter. "No. Please don't." He grasped Chanyeol's hand as they walked out into the night. Baekhyun suddenly remembered the state of his apartment as they headed for Chanyeol's car. "Chanyeol. Can you take me to the beach please." Chanyeol smiled as he unlocked his car. Everything was going to be fine.

They rushed inside the house and as soon as the door closed behind them their bodies clashed. Lips found lips and hands searched for bare skin. Baekhyun was hungry and Chanyeol was desperate. Baekhyun broke their kiss and gasped as Chanyeol's mouth travelled down to his neck. A soft moan escaped Baekhyun as he fell into the sensation. "Chanyeol. Can we go down to the beach?" Baekhyun needed to feel home.

Naked on the beach, a blanket under them, the stars above, they became one again. Chanyeol pushed inside Baekhyun's body and thrust, relishing the feeling, his heart beating in his chest. With Baekhyun moaning under him and calling his name, and the waves crashing on the shore, he felt truly alive. This was forever. It had to be. He had him back and he had his life back and he was never going to let him go. "Say you love me." He whispered in Baekhyun ear as his erection found all the nerves inside Baekhyun's body. "I love you Chanyeol." Baekhyun said, panting and breathless, arching his body in pleasure. He called his raw and desperate need for Chanyeol into the darkness as he came, his body alive with ecstasy, his heart full of love.   


They settled into an easy rhythm. Life went on. Chanyeol continued to work and Baekhyun continued to paint. They spent their weeknights eating cup ramen in Baekhyun's tiny apartment and loving each other in his too-small bed. Chanyeol would rise early and head off to work and Baekhyun would sleep in and wake up to instant coffee. He would head to the park or the cafe and paint or work a few hours for Minseok.

When Chanyeol was away from Baekhyun he relied on his photos. They covered his studio, he had them in his car and his guitar case and on his phone. As long as he knew it wouldn't be long, as long as he knew Baekhyun would be there waiting, the hush of his chest didn't hurt so much.

And when Chanyeol had no meetings he would head to the park, stopping by the cafe for two takeaway hazelnut lattes, his guitar slung on his back. Baekhyun would paint and Chanyeol would play and people would turn their heads as they walked past. They would smile, sometimes stop for a while, sometimes tossing a few coins into Chanyeol's guitar case. Occasionally someone would ask. "Aren't you Park Chanyeol? The famous music producer?" And Chanyeol would just chuckle and say he'd never heard of him.

Friday afternoons they would pack up and head to the beach. Baekhyun would paint and Chanyeol would cook and they would sit out on the deck under the stars. In the mornings they would swim and sit on the beach and at night Chanyeol would love Baekhyun under crisp white sheets. And the whole time his heart would beat.

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

He felt wonderful. He felt alive. He felt healthy.

It felt right.

And it was.  


The end


End file.
